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Sunday, 1 July 2018

60 Second Interview With

No.19 No.56 No.19 The Shopkeeper!
    Ting-a-ling-a-ling
    “Ah good morning gentlemen, and what can I do you for today?”
    “We’re not customers.”
    “Oh, well if you’re not going to buy anything you can leave my shop.”
    “Don’t be like that, I am Number One-one-three, and this is my photographic colleague Number One-One-three b, we contribute to The Tally Ho.”
    “Smile” click goes the camera.
    “And I’m the shopkeeper that’s the introductions out of the way, are you sure you won’t buy anything?”
    “Well if it makes you happy, I’ll have a quarter pound of wine gums, and my colleague will have five penny worth of Black Cats.”
    “Certainly gentlemen, now then, five penny worth, that’ll be two point nought, nought, nought two three credit units, and the quarter pound of wine gums three units, that’s four point nought, nought, nought two three credit units.”
    “Here you are.”
    “I’m sorry sir, I don’t take Barclaycard!”
    “I don’t have anything else.”
    “What about your Credit Unit card?”
    “My weekly credit allowance has been all used up.”
    “What about him?”
    “His as well.”
    “Well gentlemen I can’t accept this.”
    “Perhaps we can pay you later?”
    “Sorry, I don’t give credit!”
    “The taxi driver who brought us here said we could pay her later.”
    “Well I’m not such a soft touch as Number Eighteen. And if you’ll take a tip from me, using a taxi to bring you here seems very extravagant when you could easily have walked.”
    “Well if you’re going to be like that! Anyway we didn’t come here to buy sweets. We’re on a job.”
    “Job, what job?”
    “We’re here to interview you for sixty seconds.”
    “Sixty seconds eh. Well gentlemen I think you’ll find your times up!”
    “Eh?”
    “You’ve been in my shop a good two minutes!”
    “Oh!”
    “Well gentlemen I look forward to your custom when your credit allowance has been made up.”
    “Just a minute!”
    “What now?”
    “Have you got a twin brother?”
    “Twin brother…..no.”
    “Well when we came into your shop your number was Nineteen.”
    “What about it?”
    “Well now the number on you badge is Fifty-six!”
    “Is it?”
    “How did you do that?”
    “Do what?”
    “Change the number?”
    “Oh you’d better ask my twin brother Nineteen about that!”


    “Be seeing you.”
    Ting-a-ling a ling

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