Friday, 8 July 2011

60 Second Interview With Sir Charles Portland

    No.113 'Sir Charles, let me ask you.......'
    Sir Charles 'Let me ask you how you got in here, and who are you?'
    'Who I am is unimportant, and my photographic colleague is even less important.'
    No.113b 'Smile.' {click goes the camera}
    Sir Charles 'Well at least you realise......why are you both dressed like that?'
    'Like what Sir Charles?'
    'Like someone dressed more for the Henley Regatta. Keen yachtsmen are you?'
    'We're not here to talk about us Sir Charles.'
   'Well just who are we talking about?.....And you never did say how you got in here.'
    'The man in the outer office buzzed us in.'
   'Well he had no right doing so! Well who is it you want to talk about, come man speak up.'
    'It's your future son-in-law.'
'What about him?'
'He disappeared.'
'Yes, about a year ago.'
'Do you know where he is?'
'You are as bad as my daughter!'
'That's Janet Portland.'
'Yes. And now her fiance's done a runner, I'll not be able to get her married off, and off my hands once and for all!'
'Is that what he's done, a runner?'
'I don't know. I haven't heard hide not hair of him.'
'You don't know where he is?'
'No.'
'You haven't sent him on a mission?'
'No. I'm sorry I can't help you.'
'You don't know then that about a year ago he handed in his letter of resignation?'
'Did he?'
'Once again, I can't help you.'
'Didn't you get a message, a body even, indicating that he had died in an accident at sea?'
'Died at sea.....in a sailing accident?.............There have been no reports. Are you some kind of newspaper reporter?'
'My word Sir Charles you catch on fast!'
No.113b 'Smile.' {click goes the camera}.
'What about Janet Sir Charles, she must be really upset at not having seen or heard from her fiance for a year.'
'I suggest you get out. And don't go bothering my daughter!'

{The pair of doors to Sir Chrales study opened and three men entered. I could see that one-one-three-b and I had out-stayed our welcome. But withdrew with our dignity intact, save for a boot up the backside! This interview was later made up in the comfort of my own office here at The Tally Ho.}

Reporter No.113
Photographer No.113b

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