Saturday, 1 June 2013

Who's That On The Telephono?


“Yes, what do you want?”
“Don’t be like that. Number Two here. I’m on this over-sized, red, curved telephone.”
“You can’t be!”
“Why?”
“Because I am Number Two, and I’m on the over-sized, red, curved telephone.”
“We can’t both be?!”
“I think we must.”
“Well how did this happen?”
“The telephone rang, I thought you were Number one.”
“So did I.”
“It’s ridiculous don’t you think?”
“Yes.”
“You do realise that we are the only two actors in ‘the Prisoner’ to have to use this damned thing?”
“No I didn’t!”
“I’m Colin Gordon.”
“I’m Patrick Cargill.”
“How do you do.”
“I do very nicely thank you.”
“I think that Pat McGoohan has been making us look ridiculous!”
“Why would he do that? After all Derren Nesbitt isn’t forced to use this telephone.”
“No, but Kenneth Griffith might have had to!”
“Really?”
“It’s on his desk, but Kenneth said he didn’t have to use it in his scene.”
“Scene?”
“As Number Two.”
“Oh I see. He was only in one scene.”
“No, in one complete episode, but he had two roles, the other is Napoleon Bonaparte.”
“I was in two episodes.”
“Did you succeed against Number Six?”
“No, I, well it wasn’t all my fault!”
“I understand completely, I underestimated Number Six.”
“Why, did you fail as well?”
“Yes. So Did Kenneth.”
“Oh!”
“Never mind, it’s only a job!”
“Yes, but there are limits!”
“Yes. That Pat McGoohan’s got a lot to answer for, treating actors like this!”
“I’m going to ring off and have words with Pat!”
“By the way, do you know what this series is all about?”
“Haven’t got a clue. I’ll just take the money and run!”

BCNU

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