The
Number
6 was in the hospital for a regular check-up, there wasn’t much wrong with him,
in fact life in The Village suited him, on the whole. After the medical the
doctor sat at his desk writing a note
“What you need Number Six is little
more than some rest and relaxation. Don’t take life here too seriously.”
“Can I go?”
“Of course my dear fellow, I wouldn’t
dream of detaining you another moment.”
Early evening Number 6 was bored and lonely
with his own company, so he decided to go out, go out and into the Cat &
Mouse nightclub. Inside jazz music was playing, a hat check girl stood behind a
counter taking customers hats and capes, each in return being given a numbered
ticket. Cat and Mouse, is aptly named when considering the cat and mouse games
between Number 2 and himself. Through an archway, a door to the night club led
into a small foyer with a cloakroom desk, decorated with fishing nets, a wooden
carved mermaid, a ship’s wheel hanging on the wall, and two matching table
lamps sitting on tables, and upon the desk. There was also a wooden chair. A
second ship’s wheel hanging from the ceiling as well as three brass light
fittings. Also upon the table in a blue and white vase, fake flowers, and a
white telephone. And a model of a clipper ship was to be seen in a glass case.
Music issued from a number of black speakers upon the wall, and yet an
automatic drum kit played, and a plaster lion rotated back and forth on a
plinth. There was a regular looking bar with a three bottle optics, and a large
number of bottles and glasses adorning the shelves behind the bar. Drinks were
served by a bartender who looked more like a fishmonger in his straw boater and
white coat instead of a steward! A waitress wearing a white sailor’s cap and
colourful striped cape provided a table service. Large alcoves fitted with
tables and chairs for the customers lined a circular wall, with fishing nets
suspended from the ceiling, and large plants in planters scattered
strategically about the room. The only things missing were young trendy radicals,
or socialists sitting around smoking dope and discussing Marxism, and socialism.
Or some goatee bearded type quoting poetry to an enthralled captive audience
again, while smoking pot. However this is The Village and Number 6 should
really have known better. Taking a table by the wall he sat down and began to
take in these new surroundings, whilst listening to the jazz of Bix Beiderbecke,
the first white jazz musician. The jazz music was piped through black wall
speakers.
207
The young waitress walked over to Number
6’s table carrying a tray.
“Non alcoholic gin, whisky, vodka looks the
same, tastes the same.”
“Whisky, a single malt if you have it” he
said.
The waitress turned and hurried to the bar
to have her order filled by the barman. While he sat waiting for his drink, Number
6 sat looking about the night club and the patrons therein. The dance floor was
vacant. Two people sat at the bar in deep conversation as the barman placed two
drinks in front of them. Other customers sat at tables in the alcoves, while
some flittered from table to table chatting with others here and there, but not
one young radical or beatnik amongst them. There was one man, sat all alone at
the end of the bar, Number 6 hadn’t noticed him before, looking slightly the
worse for wear. Number 6 couldn’t imagine why! Then he saw the waitress heading
in the direction of his table carrying his drink on a tray.
“There sir, your whisky” said the waitress
placing the glass of golden liquid on the table before him, then she stood
waiting.
Number 6 picked up the glass and knocked
the drink back in one, it certainly tasted like whisky, it was smooth despite
it not being a single malt.
“Non alcoholic gin, whisky, vodka, looks
the same tastes the same…” the waitress told him.
“Yes I know all that, bet you can’t get me
squiffy!” said Number 6 holding up his empty glass.
The waitress looked shocked at this
suggestion “No alcohol here sir, gin whisky, vodka looks the same tastes the
same” which made her sound like an automaton!
“Get
me a drink a proper drink, one with alcohol in it” barked
Number
6, making the waitress jump half out of her skin.
“I’ve told you, no alcohol here sir”
repeated the waitress regaining her composure.
“Then go away” he told her slamming his
empty glass upon the table.
But the waitress didn’t go away and Number
6 ended up ordering several drinks from her, most of them doubles and by the
end of the evening he found himself quite intoxicated. He staggered about the
club singing “If you like my body, and you think I’m sexy, come on now and let
me know…..” he began to laugh and giggle inanely, falling over several times
and making a complete fool of himself.
Finally the barman had to help him outside into the cobbled square where Number 6 fell about laughing, this to the unemotional stare of the two Top Hat officials standing either side of the entrance arch of the ‘Cat & Mouse’ night club. Number 6 was lying on the cobbles when Number 234 emerged from ‘Cat & Mouse’ on her way home. She was going to walk passed him and leave him lying there in his own drunkenness. But then she thought better of it, curfew was only a few minutes off and Number 6 had been her best customer that night. So helping him to his feet Number 234 struggled to get him back to his cottage. In the lounge she helped him onto the couch, leaving him there to sleep it off.
The following morning Number 6 woke to a
massive hangover, and the dulcet tones of someone whistling in the kitchen, surely
not the maid that was not her style at all. Rising somewhat gingerly from the couch
he went through to the kitchen to see who was in such a jovial mood first thing
in the morning. It was Number 2 who uninvited had entered the cottage,
whistling a merry tune,
“Good morning my dear fellow, you certainly
had one over the eight last night. A waitress from the ‘Cat and Mouse’ had to
help you home by all accounts. Really Number Six, I had thought better of you”
Number 2 had been replaced, the new interim
Number 2 a man of medium height, with light-brown hair, wearing the usual
attire, but with the air of a statesman about him, his voice calm and
reassuring.
“What’s it to you?” snapped Number 6
reaching for an empty glass, filling it with water from a bottle in the fridge.
“Nothing, my dear fellow, just as long as
you don’t make too much of a habit of it.”
Number 6 sat down at the table with his
glass of water which he
sipped
slowly. He wished that the little man in his head would stop banging with his
hammer, and that someone hadn’t replaced his tongue with a piece of flannel.
Number 2 had made himself useful in the
kitchen “Coffee, black with two sugars isn’t it and you really should eat something
Six, you look rough.”
“What do you care?” he said putting the
glass to one side in exchange for the coffee.
“Of course I care, I care about all our
citizens.”
“Then get the one who spiked my drinks last
night!”
“Now
why should anyone want to spike your drink? Really Number Six I hadn’t put you
down as being delusional. I do hope you are not turning paranoid on me.”
Number 6 finished his coffee “My somewhat
delicate condition this morning, cannot be put down to a night’s heavy, it’s
impossible to get drunk in the Cat and Mouse.”
“You
seem to have managed it!”
“As I say someone must have spiked my
drink!”
“Yes so you say, why should anyone want to
do that?”
“You
tell me!”
“Perhaps it was someone who wished to see
you loosen up a bit and enjoy yourself for a change, which I assume you did. And
no real harm befell you.”
“You’re new here. What happened to your
predecessor?”
“He told me he was gone onto better
things, and if I needed to know something all I had to do was press a button.”
“Who told you that?”
209
“He
did, as we passed through the door, he was on the way out.”
“Tell me what have I done to deserve your
company this morning?”
“Let me put my cards on the table.”
“I wish you would.”
“Don’t be like that.”
“Just as long as we’re playing the game to
the rules of Hoyle?” asked Number 6 sarcastically.
“I’m not a gambler and you will find out
that my patience is not inexhaustible. However after reading your file, and
after recent events, I trust in time we will come to an understanding” Number 2
told him.
“Really, you have that much time at
your disposal?”
“The doctor gave you a medical.”
“What’s that got to do with the price
of fish?”
“He said all you need is a little
rest and relaxation, but too much of that can be a bad thing, take an evening
at the Cat and Mouse for example” Number 2 said reaching into a blazer pocket.
“What’s that?” asked Number 6 with some
suspicion.
“There you go again. Just take it and be
thankful that I can treat suspicion with an act of kindness and generosity”
retorted Number 2 holding out the ticket.
“What is it, my ticket out of here?” quipped Number 6 studying the card
The
Admit one
“I thought you might appreciate it, you
look like a man who could do with being taken out of himself. Go and have
yourself some harmless fun for a change” was Number 2’s offer as the door to ‘6
Private’ opened for him.
“All computer games and virtual reality I
expect.”
“Not at all my dear fellow, not at all, just
good old fashioned fun of the fair entertainment, and not one computer game to
be found in The Palace of Fun” Number 2 told him as he crossed the threshold.
The door closed, Number 6 placed the ticket
against a gold carriage clock on the mantelpiece which chimed quarter past the
hour. Unable as he was to rid himself of his hangover, he thought a few lengths
of the swimming pool or Lido might do the trick, the stone cold water would
clear his head. So after hunting out his swimming trunks and a towel he headed
off through The Village and down the street in the direction of the Old People’s
Home, then turning left the white doors of the changing rooms were just ahead
of him on the left.
After changing into his swimming trunks, Number 6 took a quick shower and headed off to the triangular stone walled swimming pool. On the lawn by the sea wall two girls in swimsuits were playing with a beach ball. They waved to him, and to his surprise he found himself waving back. The two girls stopped playing with the beach ball, and stood watching as Number 6 jumped into the almost ice cold water which instantly took his breath away and his body temperature dropped dramatically. He forced his arms and legs to work, completing the first length of the pool. Turning he swam back and completed another length of the Lido, and six or seven lengths followed as his body had become acclimatised to the cold which certainly cleared his head. Finally hoisting himself up out of the pool he stood on the narrow path by the pool vigorously drying himself off with the towel, before making his way back to the changing rooms.
210
“Aren’t you swimming today?” he shouted out
to the two girls.
“No-one swims in there, it’s much too cold.
We’ve never seen anyone swim in the pool before” one girl replied.
“Perhaps that makes me the first!” he said
smiling “I bet the
“We’ve been there a few times” said one
girl “the place is a scream.”
“The Ghost Train is my favourite, and
the hall of mirrors” said the other.
“The clowns are supposed to be funny,
but I think they look so tragic, they frighten my friend” the girl replied
smiling.
He walked over to the lawn drying
himself with the towel “Who’s your friend?”
“Number Eight” the girl told him “And I’m
Twenty-one.”
“So, you can recommend the Palace of
Fun?”
“Of course, it’s the one place where you
can forget yourself for a time, and this place with it!” she looked to her
friends “we should go.”
“Are you both prisoners here then?”
The two young women stood up and dashed off
towards the changing rooms.
“Good lord no, we both work here” 21 said
pausing and looking
back at him “and if we don’t hurry we’ll be late for work” the girl saluted.
After his swim Number 6 felt both
invigorated and hungry. His hangover, if that is what it was, had all but gone.
He changed back into his clothes and went on his way back to his cottage. He
cooked himself a ham and cheese omelette, then sat and ate it washed down with
glass of fruit juice. He dumped the plate, knife and fork into the sink, then
retrieved the ticket from the mantelpiece and slipped it into his pocket unsure
precisely where the Palace of Fun was situated. He left the confines of his
cottage and along a street he stopped a man who was pushing an old lady in a
wheelchair who wore a red tinted visor over her face.
“Excuse me, but could you direct me to the
Palace of Fun?”
“Is it the
“Yes that’s right” replied Number 6
thinking he had a right one here.
“Well it’s not this way you know” said Number
10.
211
“Isn’t it?” asked Number 6.
“Oh
no, you have to go down the road, turn left at the bottom and go passed the Café,
turn right passed the taxi rank and Labour Exchange and through the yellow
triumphal arch……”
“Perhaps I should take a taxi?” Number 6
suggested.
“Well you could, but it would be quicker to
walk. Walk along the road until you come to a path on your left, then you want
to follow that path until it meets with the main path which leads into the
woods and mind you keep to the main path until you come to the hydrangeas and a
gravelled path and that will lead you to the Palace of Fun.”
Number 6 thanked the man who was already
hurrying away pushing the wheelchair as he went. Down the road, left at the
bottom passed the café, turn right passed the labour exchange and taxi rank,
along the road and take the path on the left into the woods. But not risking
anything to chance he paused and consulted the digital ‘Free Information’ map
of Your Village, which strangely enough placed The Palace of Fun as being on
the edge of the taxi rank and more or less behind him opposite the Labour
exchange. He turned, there was no such building as was marked on the map!
Crossing the road Number 6 approached a
taxi driver sitting in her taxi on the rank “Excuse me.”
“Yes” said the driver putting down her copy
of The Tally Ho “Where would you like to go?”
“The Map of Your Village indicates that The
Palace of Fun should be standing over there, but clearly there is no such
building” he said.
“The Palace of Fun, well hop in and I’ll
take you there” said the driver.
“Do you know the way?”
“I should do I have passed the
Knowledge Test!”
The taxi took a road out of The Village and
along a country track for about two miles until they arrived at a small Hamlet,
a sort of annex to The Village.
“This is as far as I go” said the driver.
“Where are we?” he asked.
“That’s the Palace of Fun over there”
the driver told him “and that will be two units for the taxi fare.”
Number 6 paid the fare and alighted the
taxi, where upon the young taxi driver bid him “Be seeing you” and backed the
taxi round and set off back along the track way to the Village.
It was a large grey Gothic building, with Gargoyles perched on the parapet, and windows stared like eyeless sockets. It hardly looked like a palace of fun, more like a haunted mansion seen in an old horror film! Several steps led up to a pair of large wooden doors studded with rivets and set in portico. A large man in a bowler hat and black and yellow chequered waistcoat stood smoking a large cigar, and he was laughing to himself. Number 6 mounted the steps and put a hand in his blazer pocket for the ticket, which he produced and handed to the showman who tore the ticket in half handing half back to Number 6.
112
He entered The Palace of Fun through the
open portico, leaving the bowler hatted showman still laughing and puffing on
his cigar, and found himself in a large elaborately decorated foyer, but there
was no one to tell him where to go or what to do. A staircase to his right wound
its way up to the first floor and on to the upper floors beyond. To the left was
a large painted mural depicting ‘The Ghost Train’ and all its horrors, a dark
cowled spectre, skeletons dressed in rags, their jaws open as if in some inane
laugh. A cloaked vampire, blood dripping from its bared fangs, and a werewolf
with a girl’s throat in its jaws. Two corridors stretched out at angles into
what seemed infinity, all done with mirrors no doubt. But where was the fun,
the laughter, and just as though the Palace of Fun read his mind......laughter,
loud laughter came from a ‘laughing sailor’ in a glass case attached high up on
the wall.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha.”
He
had not seen one of these since a childhood holiday at Southend-on-Sea. Indeed
the laughter seemed somehow contagious as he began to laugh along with the
sailor whose jaw worked up and down in dummyfied inane laughter. Descending the
staircase, came a group of Village citizens, bright young things, some
laughing, others eating candyfloss or popcorn and deciding what to do next.
“The ghost train” shouted out a girl.
“Ooh yes” agreed one of her friends “and
then the dodgems.”
“Yes and then onto the amusement arcade”
shouted a young man from the back, as they all trouped through the door for a
ride on the ghost train, screaming and howling as they went.
Number 6 had by now recovered from his bout
of laughter and was wondering which way he should go, in fact he suddenly felt
a little stupid and turned to leave.
“Not going so soon, why you have only just got here” said a voice behind him.
He spun round to come face to face with a pair of bright red flannel trousers!
“I’m
up here” the voice said.
Number 6 looked up to see a tall stilted
man dressed in a black frock coat and top hat. He was a bit wobbly and had to
keep shuffling about in order to maintain his balance.
“Sorry about this, I have to shuffle about,
otherwise I keep falling over” said the stilted man.
Number 6 made several observations about this man on stilts. He had a red carnation in the left button hole of his coat, he wore theatrical make up, and stood a good ten feet tall, which was fine for the high vaulted ceiling of the foyer, but not for either of the corridors which we no more than 7 feet high.
“I bet you’re thinking” said the stilted man “that being on your own you feel a bit like a spare part at a wedding.”
“I wasn’t actually, what I was wondering……”
213
“Well it doesn’t matter, as you can see we
go to any lengths, and heights, for that matter, to raise a laugh here at the
Palace of Fun. You want to loosen your stays a bit mate and get yourself some
fun.”
All Number 6 was getting at the moment was
a kink in the back of his neck from looking up for so long “How tall are you?”
“How tall do you want me to be?” returned
the stilted man who gave the impression of getting even taller.
“What do I do, where do I go to do it?” he
asked the stilted man.
“Didn’t the showman at the door tell you?”
“No,
he just tore my ticket in half, laughed and puffed on his cigar” said Number 6
producing his torn half of the ticket.
“Typical, that’s all he does you see, in
fact that’s all he ever does” said the stilted man.
“So where do I go, what do I do?” asked Number
6 repeating his question.
“Go wherever you like this way or that, upstairs
or downstairs, it’s all the same in the Palace of Fun. All you have to do is
choose, after all it depends on what you’re looking for doesn’t it? Choose a
floor, select a door, open it and go in, couldn’t be simpler, all the fun of
the fair you might say. Well thinking about it you would say” the stilted man explained.
“And what is behind the doors?”
“Well if we knew that it would spoil all
the fun wouldn’t it, it all depends on which door you open, and what you are
looking for. Some doors are marked, but that’s not to say that’s what lies
beyond a particular door. You could just stick to the Ghost Train, the
round-a-bout, dodgems or amusements, but those are for the unadventurous. YOU
on the other hand look like a man who courts danger, a man who is not afraid to
put himself in harms way” smiled the stilted man.
“Am I putting myself in harms way being
here?”
“Of course not, what I meant was…. well you look like a man who can withstand a surprise or three. It’s all part of the fun, so go on and have fun. After all what possible harm could there be in the Palace of Fun?” laughed the stilted man as he half walked half wobbled along a corridor. But not just walk, but to get decidedly smaller the further along the corridor he walked until he could hardly be seen at all! It seemed that either the stilted man or the Palace of Fun was defying the laws of physics, in that the greater fitting into the lesser, and the shorter stretching off into infinity! But no, it is surely all done with mirrors, an illusion tricking him into believing the conclusion he was about to come to. It seemed that just about anything was possible in this place, the trick was not to question, but just to have fun. So it was that he chose one corridor against the other, for no other reason than it looked different in some way, which was ridiculous as both corridors were identical.
214
He wandered along the corridor passing the
first and second doors, and just as he his hand reached for the handle of the
third door the lights went out leaving him in total darkness. Turning in the
direction which he believed he had just walked, Number 6 took two steps forward
with hands stretched out in front of him, then he was bathed in blue florescent
light just enough for him to see to make his way, but not enough to make things
plain. A once solid floor, he was suddenly standing in a soft and squelchy slime.
He walked on squelching under foot then walking into thick cobwebs stretching
across the corridor, they clung to his face and hair. Then a whirring sound and
two white discs appeared out of the blue light and slammed into his face, the
one after the other......custard! And laughter filled the corridor “Ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha.”
The blue florescent light went out, but for only a second or two, and was replaced by brilliant white light, there was no squelchy mess on the floor, no cobwebs save for those remaining in his hair, the custard was real enough, as he used his handkerchief to wipe his face. Further along the corridor he came to a door on his right, an oak door with a brass doorknob he grasped and turned it slowly, then pushing the door open he took two paces forward through the open into the darkened room beyond. The darkness was absolute and was unable to see his hand in front of his face, he took two paces backwards to leave the room to step back into the corridor. The door was no longer there, where the door was now was a solid wall! He was considering his position when the lights of the room came on and he reacted instinctively. He made an automatic dive for the light fitting, a long white plastic cord with an orange and white lampshade at the end to which Number 6 now clung for dear life and gazed down at a perfectly ordinary living room, complete with settee, two armchairs, and a patterned carpet. A television set, a mantelpiece over the fire place, coffee table with a vase of flowers, and there he was holding onto the ceiling light cable for dear life! When the fear of falling passed, he realised that he wasn’t on the ceiling at all. In truth he appeared to be lying on the ceiling looking down. The reality of the situation was he was lying on the floor looking up! Gingerly he slowly released his fingers from around the electric light cable and stood up. It was a strange sensation to be standing on the ceiling, looking up at the floor and the furniture suspended over his head. An upside down room, nothing more sinister than that, “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha” laughed Number 6 recovering from the initial shock, the grimaced look on his face subsiding. And there was the door of the upside down room he exited into the corridor, or so he thought. Instead he was immediately greeted by a round of applause from an audience in the auditorium.
215
“Thank you sir, if you would join me and my
beautiful assistant Belinda on the stage” offered a man in a black suit, cape
and top hat.
Belinda, an attractive young woman wearing an
ostrich feathered headdress, and a provocative costume made to draw the eye. Number
6 walked up the steps and onto the stage much to the enthusiastic applause of
the audience. The Magician raised his hand bringing instant silence to the
auditorium.
“Belinda, the cabinet if you please.
Ladies and gentlemen we have with us a gallant volunteer who with the help of
my beautiful and capable assistant, I shall make disappear” announced the
magician to the transfixed audience.
Belinda pushed a highly decorated cabinet
forward on its four caster wheels which in turn raised it slightly off the
floor of the stage, indicating that no trapdoor could be made use of by the
participant within the cabinet.
“Now sir if you would make an examination
of the outside of the cabinet” the Magician asked his volunteer.
He did as he was asked.
“You will agree that the walls of the
cabinet are sound, and that there is no possible way out” the magician asked.
“Agreed.”
“You have found no trapdoor, no
secret panelling?”
“None” reported Number 6.
“Then sir if you would be so kind as to help
further by stepping inside the cabinet.”
Number 6 then took two startled paces back
from the ornate cabinet.
“My dear sir I assure you that it is
perfectly safe, I am not doctor Caligari!”
The
audience laughed at the Magician’s remark.
“Please be so kind and step inside the cabinet,
the audience is waiting.”
Reluctantly Number 6 gave in and stepped up
inside the cabinet and Belinda closed the door and secured two stout bolts.
A drum roll.
“Ladies
and gentlemen, I shall now make the young man inside the cabinet disappear”
announced the magician “alacazar, alacazee, alacazar” he said waving his arms
mystically in the air.
A huge puff of smoke enveloped the cabinet. Belinda, and the Magician drew back the two bolts and the door of the cabinet was flung open to reveal a vacant interior. The audience were amazed, astonished, and astounded, the applause resounded around the auditorium, the Magician and the beautiful Belinda soaked up the applause and bowed. Number 6 on the other hand had found himself being ejected out of the back of the cabinet and somehow back into a corridor.
216
He looked both ways along the corridor, but which way? He turned right and walked ahead until he reached the amusement arcade. Inside citizens all stood in front of a variety of different fruit machines all feeding coin after coin into the slots, pulling handles or pressing the start button and watching with either excitement or anxiety as the three reels rolled round hoping that this one would be the jackpot payout… Lemon Lemon Cherry! There would be the occasional jackpot pay out on 7 7 7, or three melons, or three bells, the coins eagerly gathered up, the player then moving on to feed the coins or tokens into another fruit machine in the hope of another jackpot. Number 6 had stood watching from the door way, and was about to walk away when suddenly he was approached by a small man in a grey smock, a black peaked cap perched on his head.
“You a gambling man mister?” asked the
arcade attendant.
“Not when the odds are stacked against” he
said.
“No rigged machines here mister, need some
change do you?” asked the attendant.
“I suppose so” Number 6 said.
“Got
your mobile phone with you?” asked the attendant ferreting about in his bag for
his swipe machine.
“I don’t have one with me” he told the
attendant.
“Well give me your credit card then.”
Number 6 took out his Admix card from the
breast pocket of his blazer and wiping the yellow custard on his sleeve handed
it to the attendant.
“How much sir?” the attendant asked.
“Beg pardon?”
“How
much do you wish to gamble?” asked the attendant about to swipe the card.
“Twenty, no thirty Work Units” Number 6
replied.
“Not much of a gambler are you sir” remarked
the attendant now swiping the card and counting out thirty Credit Unit tokens
from his leather bag.
“Perhaps I’m confident of beating the
odds!”
“Best of luck” said the attendant
turning to another customer looking for change.
Number 6 looked at the handful of change. They were round Credit or Work Units each with a Penny Farthing embossed on both sides, tokens if you prefer, tokens which work like casino chips which can be cashed in, if you have any left that is. There were three lines of fruit machines, many of which were already being played, however there was a vacant ‘Lucky 7’ fruit machine and Number 6 dropped a token into the slot and pulled on the handle. The three reels spun and spun round, the first stopped in sequence…Melon… melon….Bell. A second token was dropped into the slot and again he pulled down on the handle sending the three reels spinning round and round until finally stopping Cherry…. Pear…Lemon, and this was much the same result at each pull of the handle. He shook his remaining coins in his hand and wandered off, behind him an elderly woman inserted her first token into the one armed bandit and pulled on the handle. Round and round the three reels spun then BAR… BAR…. BAR, the fruit machine lit up and a siren sounded as it coughed up 2,000 credit units. Number 6 spun round to see the elderly woman on her hands and knees picking up the spilt tokens off the floor. The attendant came walking along carrying a cardboard sign, he switched off the fruit machine, and hung the cardboard sign on it.
Out
of
Order
The
attendant looked at Number 6 “That’s its fourth jackpot payout today!” and
walked away.
217
Number
6 approached another machine, one of several glass cabinets, each containing a
mechanical crane, a jib with a triple prong grab. Scattered about the interior
of the glass cabinet were a variety of small prizes to be grabbed by the crane
operated by two small wheels on the exterior of the cabinet. Number 6 dropped a
token into the slot, there came a whirring sound as the crane began to tilt
forward. Grasping the tiny wheel he turned it first to the right and then left
having seen a watch he wanted to win. So positioning the crane in exactly the
right place, the grab lowered which took hold of the watch and began to lift it
clear of the other prizes. But just as the wrist watch was winched to the top
of the jib, seconds from being dropped down a shoot and won, the crane opened
its grab and the watch dropped back amongst the other prizes… lost! Now with
only one credit token left and nothing to show for it, he walked up and down
the aisles watching people eagerly feeding the fruit machines in the hope of
winning that elusive jackpot. Then he saw “Madame Za Za” a fortune teller in a
glass case, a dummy dressed in a head scarf with gold coins dangling from it, and
a gold earring. There was a smile, but a cold empty look in her blue eyes. Mystical
drapes hung about the interior of the cabinet, and slender hands poised over a
crystal ball. On the front of the machine were three dials used to enter your date
of birth. Number 6 turned each dial in turn then inserted his last Credit Unit
into the slot. There came a whirring sound and Madame Za Za became quite
animated. Her cold empty eyes suddenly lit up, her hands waved themselves over
the crystal ball until finally a small card was ejected from within the machine
through a narrow slit and lay at the bottom of a small tray. He took the card
and read the printed words “You will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed,
briefed, debriefed or numbered. Your life is your own.” Smiling quietly to
himself he placed the card in a pocket of his blazer and departed the amusement
arcade.
Back in the corridor he got caught up in the helter
skelter, a girl he
recognised held up a large Panda.
“Look what I won at the shooting
gallery”
And then she was gone swept away in
the helter skelter. Number 6 opened a door, to his shock there just on the
other side of the door stood a grizzly bear, a full seven or eight feet tall,
with saliva and blood dripping from its open jaws and huge teeth and fangs. It’s
claws ready to tear and dismember its next prey. And yet the grizzly bear was frozen
in a pose of grizzly horror. As he was about to close the door he allowed
himself a broad grin, finally laughing at his own stupidity in allowing himself
to be frightened in such a way, and by the most obvious of stuffed bears. And at
that the huge grizzly bear moved. It dropped on its haunches, and turned back
into the room before turning once again, powering its way towards him, its jaws
open, baring its long fangs as it growled and snarled. He reacted in the only
way possible, slamming the door shut on the rampaging grizzly, and running for
his life along the corridor. As for the grizzly bear, it was housed safely
behind toughened reinforced glass, but Number 6 wasn’t to have known that!
218
One would have thought he had received
enough shocks and surprises for the day, but being unable to find an exit from
the building, he was forced to continue his tour of the Palace of Fun. The
horribly scary ghost train was next, with its false cobwebs, rattling skeletons
and hideous ghouls, accompanied by screams, whoops and the baying and howling
of werewolves. All this along with the flutter of passing bats, the attendant
of which was himself gaunt and frightening, his raven hair combed back as he
stood in a coffin shaped kiosk.
“Room for one more inside” offered the
gaunt attendant as the last car of the ride stood vacant and waiting.
Number 6 refused the offer, instead
the Hall of Mirrors grabbed his attention, a sign on the entrance read;
“Sometimes he was squat,
Sometimes he was tall,
Sometimes he was hardly there at all.”
He walked along a line of mirrors each one
in turn reflecting his distorted shape back at him, he was tall, stout, squat, with
a large body and small head, then a small body and an oversized head, and in
the next his reflection looked like an egg timer and then like a vampire
casting no reflection at all!.
To exit the Hall of Mirror’s Number 6 had to traverse through a glass maze. He could see every which way to go but not the sheet of glass which he so confidently walked into! It was not easy at all. He could see the exit but not the way to reach it, and having walked into one sheet of glass, he was not in a hurry to do so again. Slowly he felt his way along the glass panelled walls of the maze, turning this way and that and back on himself having reached a dead end. And then
219
he
saw it, he saw THEM, white boned skeletons some with the remnants of rags
hanging from the bones, and whisps of hair still attached to the skull. They
were all slumped on the floor, those poor individuals who never made it out of
the glass maze. But Silas Blake was made of sterner stuff! And yet every turn
taken took him further and further away from the exit to the maze. He paused
and considered the situation, what is the golden rule to any maze, or indeed
labyrinth.....turn left at every opportunity. And then through the glass he saw
a small boy licking an ice lolly, a boy he recognised as being himself. The boy
winked, turned and seemed to make his way through the maze with no difficulty,
so he followed him out of the maze and into the corridor to be greeted like an
old friend by a man and a woman. The woman shook him warmly by the hand and
instantly there was an electric shock via a clockwork buzzer hidden in the palm
of her hand. The man embraced him and water spouted from the flower he wore in
his button hole. They chuckled and laughed, Number 6 felt annoyed and was about
to wipe his face with his handkerchief but was covered in custard! He laughed,
well if you can’t laugh in the Palace of Fun what can you do?
The stilted man put in another appearance,
walking tall along the corridor towards Number 6 who was just about to open
another door out of pure curiosity.
“No time for that my dear fellow, its only
ten minutes before The Palace of Fun closes for the night” the stilted man told
him.
“So soon?”
“Time flies when you’re having fun. Besides
all good things must come to an end sooner or later” said the stilted man “been
enjoying ourselves have we?”
“Enjoying myself? I wouldn’t quite put it
like that, but it’s been an experience I’ll say that much” Number 6 replied.
The stilted man looked at his pocket watch
“Well, maybe it’s not quite too late. Perhaps there is just time for one more
piece of fun, through the…. black and blue door I think. You’ll find it at the
far end of the passage way, be careful as to what steps you take. Remember your
predecessor in whose footsteps you now follow” the stilted man said somewhat enigmatically.
“You’re tall” said Number 6 “too tall in
fact!”
“Don’t forget, it’s less than ten minutes
before closing time” the stilted man reminded him as he strode off down the passage
way getting smaller all the time.
Number 6 walked on until he came to the black and blue door at the far end of the corridor. He paused, then grasped a firm hold of the brass door knob, he paused a moment more before slowly turning the doorknob and pushing the door open. Stepping over the threshold, slammed the door shut behind, perhaps not the wisest of things to do, shutting off his exit like that. At first glance the room looked to be completely empty. On second glance there was, at the other side of the room a white robed figure sitting in a high chair, its head inclined as though in a state of reverence. Taking two paces forward he almost fell through a hole, as part of the floor gave way beneath his feet. He staggered back trying to find the door through which only a few moments ago he had entered the room. But he couldn’t find the doorknob, as there was no door knob to find. More than that there was no door! He turned, keeping his back to the wall, and in front of him, etched on the floor the jumbled up letters of the alphabet. What was it the stilted man had said, “Remember the predecessor in whose footsteps you follow.” He stood there for what seemed like an age, then as though a light bulb had been switched on, sudden illumination! “In whose footsteps you now follow.”
220
Stepping forward Number Six prepared
to follow in his predecessor’s footsteps, first the letter N….followed by U….M….B….E….R…S.…I.…X
finally reaching the far side of the room. All this time the white robed figure
had sat unmoved, his head still bowed as Number 6 slowly and cautiously
approached. Suddenly the white figure raised its head. Now he could see that under
the cowl this spectre was wearing a half white, half black face mask. He
reached out and tore off this spectre’s mask only to reveal the mask of an ape!
With a look of determination he reached out again and tore away the ape mask
revealing the white skull beneath. As he stared into the pair of eyeless
sockets the jaw bone dropped and the skull began to laugh insanely, and from
within the mouth of the skull a jet of nerve gas was propelled into the face of
Number 6. The room began to spin, his feet slipped from under him, and he fell
back in an unconscious heap on the floor.
When he eventually regained consciousness
he found himself restrained in a black leather chair, the chair being in a
perfectly ordinary room, with a desk and leather armchairs. Paintings hung on
the walls, white plaster busts were mounted on white plinths. Ceiling high book
cases, lamps on tables, a chandelier hanging from the ceiling, a large fire
place, a chessboard set up on a small table and a drinks cabinet in the corner.
Leather straps restrained Number 6 in the chair, but oddly enough his arms had
been allowed to hang free. Quickly he unbuckled first one strap and then the
other, both releasing himself and instantly causing himself to fall out of his
chair onto the ceiling! He lay there on the ceiling for several minutes whilst
gathering his bearings. Slowly he picked himself up, and dusted himself down. His
right leg pained him, injuring it as he had in the fall. Limping to the door he
grasped the door knob and opened it. People who had clearly been enjoying
themselves, laughing and joking were now heading along the corridor towards the
foyer in time to depart The Palace of Fun before it closed for the night. The
stilted man was at the door of the foyer watching the people leaving and picked
Number 6 out from the crowd.
“You’ve all clearly had the time of your life,
had fun, with laugh
aplenty along the way. Perhaps we shall be
seeing you again?”
“I doubt it somehow” he said rubbing his hurt leg “that last one wasn’t much to laugh about, it’s left me black and blue and I might have broken my leg!”
221
“Even humour too has its dark side” the
stilted man said.
Number 6 passed out through the door taking
his leave of The Palace of Fun. Outside under the portico stood the stout,
bowler hatted figure of the showman who stood there puffing on his cigar and
still laughing to himself.
Number 6 glared at the showman “What have
you got to laugh about?”
The stout showman made no response except to puff on his cigar, the ash of which dropped onto his yellow and black chequered waistcoat. Number 6 turned his back on both the showman, and his gothic Palace of Fun and made his way back to The Village, and the relative comfort of his cottage.
222
No comments:
Post a Comment