The Tally Ho

 

The Tally Ho

The Blue Zone In The Post!
                          by our own reporter

“Sign your number here Number Six.” What’s this? a registered letter sent to No.6? No, it is an invitation to the ball, special delivery and must be signed for! Why does the village postman wear a Royal Mail peaked cap? In doing so he fits in with two other citizens, the eccentric No.66 who wears a British naval officer’s cap and described by No.2 as an exAdmiral. How did he become an ex-Admiral? Did he simply resign? Perhaps he was caught giving away secret naval plans to another country, the Russians for example. And yet, why is No.66 allowed to wear that British Royal Naval cap an indication of his former employment? It’s the same with No.54 the General apparently once of the British Army, although we do not know the regiment, wears a British General’s cap. It makes one wonder what it was that had the General brought to the village? However if we are to accept that the Admiral was once of the British Royal Navy, and the General of the British Army, then perhaps the village postman once worked for the British Royal Mail, and being his previous occupation is allowed to wear the peaked cap, but not the rest of his uniform! It might be that the village postman was brought to the village to be the village postman! We see the village postman pushing a Penny Farthing bicycle up to the door of ‘6 Private,’ push the Penny Farthing yes, ride it on his postal round would seem unlikely. But during the Victorian period British Royal Mail postmen rode Penny Farthing bicycles, so perhaps that is the reason why the postman is seen with a Penny Farthing bicycle. Now we come to this new “Blue Zone” in the post, what’s that all about? Who bothers to write to anyone in the village? Well some citizens must write to others, otherwise there would be no need for a postman, and no new Blue Zone in the post! At the kiosk copies of The Tally Ho and confectionary are sold, along with picture postcards of the village but not the traditional saucy comical postcards. Who in the village would buy picturesque postcards of the village, let alone send such a postcard to someone living in the village. One could hardly send someone the usual seaside holiday greeting “Wish you were here,” because they are here already! So this postman, how does he actually deliver the post? I only ask because as far as I can see none of the cottage doors are actually fitted with a letter box! Perhaps the postman has to knock on every cottage door and wait for the door to be opened in order for a citizen’s post to be delivered, in the same way he delivers No.6’s invitation to Carnival! And there’s another question, before the advent of the new blue post box, how did citizens post their letters and postcards to one another? Because up until then this reporter has never seen a post box in the village! What’s more there is no village post office! When it comes to the possibility that certain people are bought to the village simply to carry on their occupation, like the postman, the watchmaker, the reporter who writes for The Tally Ho, perhaps it’s the same with the milkman who wears a peaked cap and blue and white striped apron. We may not see the milkman because he works early hours delivering the citizens milk before they are up and about. Proof of this is seen on the doorstep of ‘6 Private’ when No.6 has put out the empty milk bottle on his doorstep at night ready for collection the nest morning when his milk is delivered. And of course when it comes to wearing hats, the administrative officials of administration all wear Top Hats, and that included No.2 and his assistant No.12 when they were members of the board of education. And should have included No.2 as Chairman of the town council! So you know what they say, if you want to get ahead get a hat