The Tally Ho

The Village to Balance its Imports Exports!

by our own reporter

 

It was my colleague No.113 who suggested that the Village exports will operate in every corner of the globe! To be perfectly honest I wasn’t aware the Village produced anything, or had anything to export, even the vast amount of information gathered it keeps to itself. On the face of it the Village gives the impression of being a self-contained, self-supporting society, yes there is a dairy herd producing milk, potatoes and dairy products, a farm producing fresh fruit and vegetables. But where do the tinned Village food, fresh bread and the aspirins come from? They probably arrive during the night when everyone’s asleep.

    And then there is the question of rubbish, and waste produced by those who live in the Village. Who provides the services which help run the Village, the water, electricity, providing the outlet for sewage, and emptying the dustbins, again at night when everyone’s asleep! The Village is not self-sufficient, it cannot be, as most things in the Village are supplied by an outside agency, probably provided by a Government contract to do so, and in complete and utter secrecy. To supply petrol for the taxis and garden tractors, not to mention barrels of engine oil, tyres, and numerous spare parts in order to keep the vehicles well maintained and in good order al all times.
   However the Village did provide the opportunity to conduct the educational experiment called Speed Learn, and had the end result been a complete success no doubt in time Speed Learn would have been exported to every corner of the globe. So in a sense that would have been one export, but I find it hard to put my finger on any other export the Village could provide. And yet my journalistic colleague No.113 isn’t quite a member of the free press, as he never once actually writes down any of his own quotes, all of which he made up at the time of course during an interview with the candidate No.6 who was running for election. Thereby putting words into the candidate’s mouth!

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There Are Those Who Come Here

And expect life in the Village to be better than it is! There is an old couple who wouldn’t leave for the world, and I expect yet for the Professor and Madam Professor the Village wasn’t what they expected it to be. Not that they ever got to go out into the Village, being kept under permanent house arrest! And then there is someone like Number 6, who refuses to settle down, keeps on attempting to escape, and yet when the opportunity arises thinks nothing of turning a situation to his advantage. He told people that they can enjoy themselves and they will, what whether they like it or not? And all they had to do in exchange was to give us information, promising promotion to other and more attractive spheres. He asked the people where they desired to go, as if they could go anywhere, again promising that he could supply it if they applied to him. I mean the man was talking nonsense, perfect nonsense for a potential local councillor in fact, or a Chairman of the Village. And no-one denies that we can provide every civilised amenity within our boundaries, I mean people here are very well looked after, if they give up all the information they have. If not, well some citizens are treated little more than animals to be experimented upon, which can be made worse by the type of treatment they have to undergo, some of which is quite barbaric! But it’s nice here for the better part, they like to keep people occupied, playing chess, in amateur dramatics, croquet, sunbathing or playing beach ball. Swimming in the Lido, walking in the woods, or taking part in the most hazardous sports such as Kosho, or calmly taking afternoon tea on the lawn, or at the café whilst reading the latest edition of The Tally Ho.