Village Life

Shopkeeper "Good morning sir, and what can I do for you?"                                            

"Number Six "Good morning shopkeeper. yes I think I'd like some cheese."
"Cheese."
"Yes, cheese, presumably you do sell cheese."
"Oh yes sir."

"Good, well I'd like a piece of Chedder."                                                                         

"Ah, we've just run out of chedder."
"Have you?"
"Yes sir. But we'll have a new stock in tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes sir."
"Alright, do you have any Wenslydale?"
"No sir."
"Danish Blue?"
"Err no sir."
"Red Leicster."
"We had some this morning, but I sold the last piece to Number Fifty."
"Did you?"
"Yes sir I did."
"Oh well, I'm not one to give in easily. Do you have any Brie?"
"We did have sir, but the cat ate it."
"Did it?"
"Yes sir."

"Well why don't you stop me when I mention a cheese you do have."                                

"We could try it sir."
"Will it be worth it?"
"Might be sir, you never know."
"Lincolnshire Poacher, Tintern, Collier, Cheshire, Bath Blue, Lanark Blue, Shropshire Blue. Cotswold, Double Gloucester........
"Ah, just a minute sir."
"Ah you have some double Gloucester."
"I thought we had, I'm expecting some to arrive any minute, It should have arrived yesterday, but the Mini Moke broke down."
"Did it?"
"Yes sir."
"Well what about Gorgonzola?"
"Oh sir, wouldn't have it in the shop!"
"Stilton?"
"We did have some sir"
"Did you?"
"Yes sir. But it stunk the shop out so much, we had to throw it out!"
"Well your emporium certainly doesn't smell of cheese now."
"No sir.

"Tell me, do you in fact have any cheese at all?"                                                               

"No sir. I was deliberately wasting your time. Perhaps you'd like to buy a Cuckoo Clock."
"What would I be wanting with a Cuckoo Clock?"

"Well I look forward to serving you again sir. Be seeing you."                                           

"Not if I see you first you won't!"

{With apologies to Monty Python}