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Saturday, 24 August 2013

Village Life!

   No112 "Good morning sir."
   No.6 "Ah good morning assistant."
   "Just a minute sir, I'm not the assistant, I'm the Shopkeeper!"
   "What's the difference?"
   "I'm wearing a stripy apron and a strawboater hat."
   "I see, well assistant, I'd like some sausage."
   "Yes sir, what kind?"
   "Lincolnshire sausage."
   "I'm sorry sir, be only sell Village sausage."
   "Well I'll have some of those."
   "What's the problem?"
   "They haven't been made yet!"
   "Haven't they?"
   "No sir."
   "Well perhaps some bacon then."
   "We should have had a delivery this morning."
   "Should you?"
   "Yes sir, but the mini-moke broke down!"
   "Did it?"
   "Yes sir. We should have some bacon in tomorrow, once the pig's been slaughtered."
   "By then I'll have lost my appetite for it!"
   "Well what about King Edwards?"
   "I wouldn't deprive him of it!"
   "Potatoes sir."
   "What do you do with them?"
   "Put them in an oven and bake them. A sprinkle of salt and pepper, very tasty, very sweet."
   "I don't think so. You mentioned potatoes."
   "Yes sir."
   "Do you have any tobacco?"
   "Yes sir."
   "I'll take twenty Number Six."
   "You trying to be funny sir?"
   "No, apparently not!"
   "Do you have any cheese?"
   "I'll have a look sir.........................................................nnnnnnnnooooooooooo. Should be in this afternoon."
   "Should it?"
   "Yes sir, if you'd like to come back."
   "Will it be worth it, or will I simply be wasting my time?"
   "No sir, you'll just be wasting your time. I'm not expecting a cheese delivery. Will there be anything else sir?"
   "No, I don't think so."
   "Well I'm glad of your custom anyway sir."
   "It's been an experience! Well good day to you assistant."
   "I'm the Shopkeeper!"
   Ting-a-ling-a-ling sounded the shop bell.

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