old chap, I can’t help but feel sorry for him you know. There’s the regular red
‘L’ shaped telephone between the yellow and turquoise, the hotline to No.1, and
he’s forced to use that curved, over-sized red telephone instead! Any time now
it’s going to begin bleeping, and No.1 will want to know what the Devil’s going
on. No.1 will kick No.2, No.2 will instinctively lash out at the doctor-No.14,
and No.14, well she’ll do as she’s told!
Beep, beep, beep, beep there it goes, No.2 will answer it in a moment.
“Number 2 here.....yes sir. I am doing my best. He’s very difficult…I know its important sir….. he’s no ordinary person sir. If I had a free hand….. I know sir yes. I’m not indispensable.”
Its always the same, when No.2 gets it in
the neck he makes sure its passed down the line, in this case its No.14, and if
she doesn’t get her drug right with No.6 No.2 will have her new wonder drug
proved on her!
It was slightly different in ‘The General,’ “…….No sir, I assure you there’s no problem sir….we’re getting a hundred percent co-operation from everyone and I’m anticipating a truly exciting result…..who sir?.... oh the Professor, just a mild aberration I assure you, a couple of days rest and adjustment and he’ll be doing everything we need…… yes, yes I will keep in touch sir in the closet touch thank you sir.”
“Probably the most important human experiment we’ve ever had to conduct and he treats it, he’s treating it like a military exercise.”
You want to watch that No.2, you never know who might be listening!
But I ask you, look at that absurd
telephone, it seems to me No.1 was taking the mickey out of No.2, which really
was a bit cruel of him when you think about it. However having said that, I can
think of one other deserving No.2 to have the rise taken out of him. The one
who saw that everyone was against him, seeing conspiracies everywhere, a weak
link in the chain of command which would snap at any time soon!
“Number 2…….. Yes sir. Yes sir, everything
is under control. No sir, no problems……. Assistance? No, no sir. I can
manage…….. Yes sir, of course. Be seeing you.”
That was a bit of a humiliating telephone
call if you don’t mind my saying so, especially when No.1 offered you
assistance. Mind you if you treat your current assistant No.14 with the respect
he deserves he could be of great assistance to you by offering well meaning
advice. But then you’re an arrogant so and so and treat all Civil Servants with
disrespect, its that bullying attitude of yours, that won’t get you very far
you know, it will just put people’s backs up! Mind you I think you already
achieved that with the Tally Ho headline “Increase Vigilance Call from No.2”
subtitled “Security of the Community,” along with that article you wrote, you
did write it? Whatever gives you the idea that everyone is against you, that’s
just paranoia. Your assistant No.14 is on your side, he’s loyal if only you’d
recognize that fact. However it’s nice to see No.1 taking such a close interest
in you, I bet you put his back up
when you treated No.6 with threats and violence. No.1 must have been watching
because he was on the telephone within moments of you slapping No.6 in the
face! Mind you you’re not the first in that regard, or to have to use that
propitious telephone, No.1’s having a laugh, or someone is!
Thank you very much!
Assistance, what was No.1 talking about, No.2 already has an assistant, No.14 who perhaps saw himself promoted to the position of No.2 one day. If only No.2 had allowed his assistant to be more closely involved with his machinations with No.6, things might have turned out differently for No.2!
Be seeing you