Quote For The Day

    “I am Number Six....Six....Six....Six”
                                      {Number 6 – The Schizoid Man}
   Of course you are, you’ve got Number 6’s thumbprint, and even a mole on your left wrist to help prove your identity. Unfortunately the trouble is, you are wearing the wrong coloured blazer. More than that you’re wearing a badge, Number 6 never wears his badge. Your attitude is also wrong, you’re too happy, contented in yourself. And since when was Number 6 last heard whistling? And there’s one thing you definitely do not have, and that’s a bruised fingernail on the first finger of your left hand! Number 6 my foot. Mind you, seeing as they have Number 6 in The Village, they could send you back there to London in order to take his place, and infiltrate British Intelligence!

Be seeing you

Another Interim No.2

    I wonder what this interim Number 2 had to do with Number 6, if anything? We know absolutely thing about her, how long her term in office was, or if she was brought to The Village for any other reason than to deal with Number 6. Number 6 may not have recognized her, she might not have been a Number 2 at all, but someone placed as being Number 2 as someone to whom Number 6 has reported an assassination plot against Number 2! Mind you when it comes to the point of Number 6 not recognizing this Number 2, he didn’t recognize the current Number 2 in office either when he paid him a call that time!

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Village Life!

    “Ah at last, where have you been?”
    “I got here as quickly as I could sir.”
    “Well it wasn’t quick enough, was it?”
    “Apparently not, but I’m here now, so what can I do for you.”
    “I want these papers checked.”
    “What are they?”
    “Number Six’s letter of resignation!”
    “He doesn’t seem to have had much to say for himself.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Well there’s nothing written on them.”
    “I can see that, that’s why I want them checked.”
    “For what sir?”
    “For whatever’s written on them, words would be my choice!”
    “But they’re…….”
    “Don’t argue with me, I tell you there is. Try the lemon juice test!”
    “Lemon juice test?”
    “Do I have to tell you your job……I can see that I do……hold the papers over the flame of a Bunsen burner or something, and see what comes through.”
    “Why should Number Six write his resignation letter in lemon juice?”
    “You’re arguing with me again. Try everything, x-rays, infra-red, density, and the fumes test.”
    “What are you looking at?”
    “Nothing!”
    “Well get on with it!”
    “Yes sir.”

{Some time later after a good deal of pacing his office floor, the pair of steel doors slide open}
    “Ah at last, there you are. Well what are the results of the tests?”
    “Its bad news I’m afraid sir.”
    “Well tell me.”
    “You were right about the lemon juice sir. We held the papers over a naked flame of a Bunsen burner as you instructed……………”

    “And……”
    “…………….The papers caught fire, and were almost completely burned up.”
    “What........they can’t be?!”
    “We did manage to save this scrap of paper.”
    {The technician hands Number 2 the scrap of paper}
    “I resigned because for a very long time……..is that it?”
    “Sorry sir.”
    “Sorry he says, oh get out, get out!”

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The Prisoner

   The boy is brought before you headmaster.
   This is the boy?
   Yes headmaster.
   He’s a very poor specimen. How old are you boy?
   I’m twelve sir.
   Twelve, well boy we shall see what knowledge you have or lack of it.
   Do you have a name boy?
   Yes sir.
   Well not here boy, we do not use names here do we Twenty-six?
   No headmaster.
   What’s this boy’s number?
   Six headmaster.
   Do you hear that boy, you are Six, number Six.
   But sir……
   There are no buts, officially you are now Six. Although your peg number will be one, your dining chair is eight, and will begin your education in room one. According to your last school’s report you are good at mathematics, mathematics is taught in room one. History is taught in room two, geography in room three, religious instruction room four. Five is woodwork, six, is rural studies, Eight is English….
   Sir?
   Yes boy.
   What is taught in room seven?
   Room seven boy? There is no room seven.
   Why sir?
   Why what?
   Why is there no room seven?
   Because there isn’t, in fact the number 7 has no place in this school whatsoever.
   Why sir?
   Oh I see we have a boy with an enquiring mind. Never mind, we’ll soon thrash that out of you boy. We do not like boys with enquiring minds do we Twenty-Six?
   No headmaster.
   Let me explain to you Six. It’s like hotels, hotels boy do not have a room thirteen because it is deemed unlucky.
   The room is unlucky sir?
   No, the number thirteen is unlucky!
   Does this school have a number thirteen sir?
   Yes, and unlucky for you boy should you ever find yourself in room thirteen!
   Why sir?
   It is a place of pain, torture, and confession.
   How can I avoid it sir?
   By undergoing a total personality change, through social conversion.
   I’m good at figures sir, and woodwork sir.
   Then confine yourself to rooms one and five, five, five, five you are five.
   No sir, I am Six.
   And one boy.
   Six of one, half a dozen of the other.......sir.
   Remove this boy from my presence.
   Yes headmaster.
   And see that he is put to his lessons. Can you box boy?
   Yes sir.
   Orthodox or southpaw?
   Southpaw.
   Good boy, that’s good. You can take on the Captain of the boxing team, then we’ll see if you are any good boy.
    I’m better at Kosho sir.
    Kosho what is Kosho when it’s at home?
    It involves two opponents, a pair of trampolines, and a tank of water......
    Oh get this boy out of my sight, get out, get out and give him six of the best.
    Twelve sir.
    What’s that boy?
    Twelve sir, so that I can remember sir.
    Oh you’ll remember Six, Six, Six, Six, Six, Six, Six, Six then you will come whimpering to me, whimpering!

Be seeing you

Thought For The Day

    In ‘Do Not forsake Me Oh My Darling,’ I have always considered Sir Charles Portland to be something of a superfluous character. However I can see why the need to have contrived the character of Sir Charles, after all the time when Number 6 managed to escape back to London, or on the occasion when he thought he was escaping back to London, on both occasions he’s gone running back to the Colonel. Only this time there is no Colonel to go running back to, his body is now inhabited by the mind of Number 6, effectively making him the Colonel!

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Goodnight Children...........!

    He knew all the time! Just like that time in ‘A B and C,’ Number 6 knew all the time, he had been playing with Number 2. But of course during that episode there had been clues along the way, Number 14 for one, that phrase she used, “We all have to make mistakes, sometimes we have to.” And then the biggest clue of all, the hidden laboratory in the woods. I’ve never been sure whether or not Number 14 consciously led Number 6 to that laboratory, thereby giving the whole game away. But this time there doesn’t appear to be a clue as to what gave the game away, certainly there was no clue in ‘The Girl Who Was Death.’ So when and how, did Number 6 realize that in telling a blessed fairy tale to three children was in itself another of Number 2’s plots to try and get him to talk, to give something away? A more trivial question would be how did Number 6 become a child minder? And where are the parents, so to need a child minder in the first place? Oh well perhaps it doesn’t pay to examine episodes too closely, after all ‘The Girl Who Was Death’ is a piece of escapism, fun, to be enjoyed for its own sake. And yet the questions still remain!

Be seeing you

New Years Greetings

Wishing all friends and readers of my blog

a very happy, peaceful,

and

wonderful New Year

bseenu