I Didn’t Come Here For An Argument!

    “Look I didn’t come here for an argument!”
    “Well where do you usually go?”
    “I don’t want to be here!”
    “But you are. Perhaps you don’t realize, we’re all lifers here.”
    “You mean no-one leaves The Village?”
    “There are a few exceptions, you I have to say are not one of them!”
    “You have no right to keep me here.”
    “I assure you we do Eleven sixty seven.”
    “Number what?”
    “Eleven sixty seven. For official purposes everyone has a number.”
    “What’s your number?”
    “I ask the questions here old boy.”
    “I am not a number old boy!”
    “Just for a moment I thought you were going to say free man.”
    “What if I had?”
    “It’s been said so many times before, it’s high time someone came up with something original!”
    “If its originality you want.......”
    “Well let’s get down to business shall we?”
    “That’s a question.”
    “No, it’s a suggestion.”
    “You asked me, now let’s get down to business shall we?”
    “I suggested we get down to business.”
    “No you didn’t.”
    “Yes I did.”
    “Look I know the difference between a question and a suggestion.”
    “Go on then.”
    “Go on what?”
    “Tell me.”
    “Tell you what?
    “The difference between a question and a suggestion.”
    “Well if you don’t know I’m not going to tell you.”
    “A suggestion is something you put forward as an idea, a question is something you ask, where are the plans for the new rocket guidance system?”
    “What?”
    “You will learn that I do not ask questions twice.”
    “I don’t have them.”
    “We know you do not have them, that’s why I asked you where they are.”
    “If I told you will you let me go?”
    “No.”
    “Then I’m not going to tell you.”
    “You are new here Eleven seventy two,”
    “No, it’s Eleven sixty seven.”
    “Well at least you know your number, that’s one thing. Cooperate and this can be a very nice place, prove to be uncooperative and The Village can be a very unforgiving place. The last occupant of your cottage suffered terribly with rough music, day and night it went on.....until he talked.”
    “Rough music, what’s that?”
    “Its like rough justice, only louder, and its dispensed by the citizens of The Village.”
    “I still won’t talk.”
    “We’ll see.”
    “Oh you’ll see alright, but I won’t, because I won’t be here!”
    “There’s no escape.”
    “I bet there is, only no-one’s found the way out yet that’s all.”
    “There is no way out.”
    “I bet there is.”
    “I bet you there isn’t.”
    “Bet you there is!”
    “Isn’t.”
    “Is.”
    “Isn’t.”
    A bell tolls once.
    “What’s that?”
    “Your time is up!”
    “What?”
    “Your time is up.”
    “No it isn’t!”
    “I can’t sit here arguing with you all day, my time is valuable even if yours isn’t.”
    “Who are you?”
    “Number Two. But I’ll probably be gone in the morning, and there’ll be a new Number Two. So you’ll have to begin all over again with him!”
    “Where will you go?”
    “Back where I came from....”
    The pair of blast proof doors slide open, two men in white coats enter.
    “There he is”
    A chase ensues, and a mad cackling laugh echoes around the interior of the domed office. A song begins to play “And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away ho-ho hee-hee ha-haaa
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa……………”

Be seeing you