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Friday 5 April 2019

Is That Me Standing Over There Or You?

    There were some days when I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, and some days I had already been there! One morning I went to buy a copy of The Tally Ho and the girl at the kiosk asked me if I wanted another? Another, all I wanted was a copy of the Tally Ho, but according to the girl it was not just two moments ago when I had purchased a copy of the broadsheet! Of course I said the girl didn’t know what she was talking about, but then this chap came up to me and confirmed what the girl had told me as truth!
    It knocked it out of me I can tell you, how could I have forgotten that I had already purchased a copy of The Tally Ho just two moments before? Oh there were other such occasions, like when I went to play chess with Number Twenty-five, who claimed that I had already beaten him two one in the best of three games! And the time I went for my medical, the doctor asked me why I had come back, having only just having left the hospital, had I forgotten something? I told the doctor that I had just come for my medical, he said why, when he had put me through my medical a few minutes before. I told him he couldn’t possibly have done, as I was there for my medical, yes the doctor told me, yes he said which I have already had! The doctor put it down to some kind of strain, go home and rest he told me.......go home and rest?! I went home alright, only to find I had already been there, the housemaid confirmed that. Apparently I had just sat down to a hearty lunch, and had just gone out. Seeing me walk in just a few moments later she thought I had come back for something. Just a few moments ago.......I dashed out of my cottage, down the steps and into the road. The helicopter was circling over The Village as I ran along the road. I paused at the bend in the road, and then caught a glimpse of....of myself through the archway. I dashed through, down the steps and into the Piazza where citizens were promenading in the afternoon sunshine. He stood there on the other side of the pool and fountain, he wore my clothes, he wore my face, and those same eyes that stared back at me every morning in the mirror stared back at me now, there was a puzzled expression on his face! Then he made his move towards me, slowly at first and then he ran, and I ran, back up the steps, through the arch, across the road and up the steps into the woods. I didn’t once look behind me for I knew he was chasing me, hard on my heels, along this path, then that path, dodging through the trees, until I came out clear of the woods and out onto the cliffs.
    “I have seen you before” the voice behind me said.
    I turned “And I have seen you, I thought it was me standing over there, but it turned out to be you. Not until this morning did I realise you existed.”
    “We have been living in the same place, and neither of us knew about it.”
    “You work the night shift, and I the day shift.”
    “And both shifts thought you were I...............”
    “And I am you!”
    “And neither of us observed the other!”
    “So who the hell do you think you are?”
    “I could ask you the same question, but my answer would be that it’s one of Number 2’s new little games.”
    “That would be my answer too!”
    “If not, then it can mean only one thing.”
    “I am you.”
    “And you are me.”
    “Making us one and the same.”
    “What’s that?”
    The sudden blood curdling roar of the white membranic mass of the Guardian, which has the sound of someone breathing through an aqua lung, mixed with a bicycle pump, and Gregorian chant. It stood there seemingly agitated about something.
    “It’s confused, it doesn’t know which one of us to bite.”
    “Why don’t you make a run for it?”
    “How far do you think I would get?”
    “Try it.”
    “Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you.”
    Three other figures appeared on the scene. One authoritative, the others two burly set guardians.
    “Number Two!”
    “Well now, this is a curious thing, you have met at last. I did wonder how long we could keep you apart. But now you’ve met I cannot allow you to exist together. One of you will have to...........”
    “I don’t look in the mirror any more, those eyes peering out through that brown leather mask, in fact I’ve taken to wearing a beard, that should irritate him!”

Be seeing you

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