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Wednesday, 5 October 2016

My Breakfast’s Cold!

    Good morning the maid said, it’s a lovely day out there.
    Why do you ride on that trailer?
    Why not?
    That tractor’s a bit slow.
    It got me here in the end.
    I expect my breakfast’s cold.
    Why should you think that?
    Because it was cold yesterday, also the day before that, and the day before that as well. In fact my breakfast has arrived cold every morning since I arrived here!
    My, said the maid, you did get out of bed the wrong side this morning.
    You know as well as I that there only one side to get out of my bed, the right side, seeing as the left is up against the wall!
    You could try cooking your own breakfast. You should think yourself lucky, it’s not everyone who has their breakfast brought to them!
    It’s a privilege I can well do without, it doesn’t seem worth it.
    I’ll inform Number Two, I’m sure he’ll be delighted to have the privilege rescinded. Can you cook?
    I can boil an egg!
    Hardly International fare.
    No, it’s English, go to work on an egg is the latest government motto.
    I think we can do better than that. Perhaps a poached egg on quiche Lorraine.
    You forgot the marmalade.
    Never satisfied are you?
    You provide such terrible service here, you’ll never get a Michelin star at this rate!
    I’ve got a mind to report you!
    What for?
    Gross impertinence, be seeing you
    Not if I see you first you won’t! Now throw this International mush in the bin, then boil myself an egg, and make some bread and butter soldiers to go with it. Ah, no eggs.......oh well ham sandwiches and coffee again!


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