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Monday, 3 October 2016

Village Life!

   Kiosk Vender “What you here again?”
   Number 6 “What do you mean by that?”
   “What do you want this time?”
   “A copy of The Tally Ho………….”
   “And a bar of soap, what did you do with the last one?”
   “I don’t know what you mean?”
   “Not five minutes ago you bought a copy of The Tally Ho and a bar of soap. What’s more you bought Number 36 a bag of sweets.”
   “Why should I do that?”
   “How should I know? Perhaps you felt sorry for the old girl!”
   “I can assure you that I’ve not been to this kiosk today, and you didn’t serve me with a copy of The Tally Ho or a bar of soap!”
    “You trying to be funny Number Six, because I can well do without your antics this morning what with one thing and another!”
    “Are you suggesting that I was here not five minutes ago?”
    “I’m not suggesting anything, I’m telling you!”
    “It wasn’t me.”
    “Then you’ve got a double, and a right pair of Sixes you would make!”
    “There’s no need to be offensive.”
    “Look I’m having a terrible day. Number Thirty six was moaning about her sweets and I couldn’t serve her because her credit allowance had been all used up. Now I’ve got this boy wanting to buy 20 woodbine cigarettes saying they’re for his dad. I’ve told him I don’t serve cigarettes to underage smokers until I’m blue in the face! Now what was it you wanted?”
    “A copy of the newspaper, a bar of soap, and twenty Woodbine for the boy.”
    “They’ll stunt his growth! There you are lad, they’ll kill you, you know. In a way they’re like a slow suicide.”
    The boy “I’m in no hurry mister. Do you know what?”
    Kisok vender “No what?”
    “Smoking killed my granddad.”
    “Yes, he was run over by a Mini-Moke on the way to the tobacconist!”
    The boy runs off.
    Kiosk vender “You cheeky little monkey. You know where he gets it from don’t you Number Six?”
    “You, that where he gets it from, you’re a bad influence, and if its not you then it’s the other you! Yes madam what can I do for you?”
    “Twenty Number Six please and a box of matches.”
    “Oh no, that’s all we need!”

Be seeing you

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