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Wednesday 16 October 2019

Cottage Conversion

    “Is this it then?”
    “Yeah, this is the place.”
    “The round house.”
    “That’s what they call it.”
    “It’s that Number 6’s old place.”
    “According to the work sheet it will be again, but we’ve got work to do. Hope that 77 and 78 get here soon with the tools and materials.”
    “You’re keen to be getting on with it.”
    “It’s not that, the flask of tea’s in the trailer!”
    “Got the plans with you?”
    “Yeah, I’ve got the plans.”
    “Well let’s go in and see what it’s like.”
    No.35 opened the door and he and No.234 stepped inside.
    “Blimey, it’s a pokey little place. Who would want to live here?”
    “I’ve no idea, but looking at the plans we’ve got to fit a study, shower room, dinette, and bedroom into this tiny space.”
    “Well I’ll tell you what.”
    “Someone’s having a laugh, we’ll never fit all that into this tiny cottage! What’s that marked on the plan?”
    “The back wall to the study.”
    “There’s no door, how’s the occupant supposed to get from the study to the dinette, shower room and bedroom?”
    “That’s the clever bit the wall is supposed to roll up into the vacant roof space.”
    “Blimey, they don’t want much do they!”
    “Well we’d best get the trailer unloaded, and get the lads in, we’ve only got three weeks to get this conversion completed.”
    “Here, what happened to the bloke who used to live here?”
    “I heard he got run over and killed in an accident.”
    “What by a taxi driver?”
    “No, by that Rover mark one thing, someone said it lost control of itself and ran the poor bloke over!”
    “What happened to it?”
    “Lost in the depths of the estuary I heard. Right, we need to put a fire place in there, either side of that we need two alcoves with shelves.”
   “Here it doesn’t say anything there about putting in a chimney does it?”
    “No, the fireplace is just for show, the study has to look like a home from home. We need to fit an arch there leading into the bedroom, and we need to raise the level here with a set of four steps.”
   “Here, I tell you what, I was on that job conversion of the Green Dome when Number 2 said he wanted a bigger office. We had to put in a foyer, a pair of French doors, behind them a pair of thick steel bomb proof blast doors, and the biggest domed office you ever did see. And you know how poky the Green Dome is, but we managed it.”
    “You know what?”
    “No what?”
    A Mini-Moke towing a trailer pulls up outside.
    “77 and 78 are here with the tools and materials. Put the radio on and we’ll have some music while we work.”
    “Hello there landlubbers welcome to Jolly Roger your friendly pirate Johnny Drake on the bridge or to use surf site syllables JD the DJ of the JR, I’ll be with you till the dog comes on watch. Request time will be with you fifteen minutes from now, meanwhile let us go with a new one from the Copperfield’s John Hardy.”

Be seeing you

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