60 Second Interview With The Butler

     No.113 'You have been the Butler and personal manservant to No.2 for some time now. How did you originally come to the position?'
    Butler, he sits on a stool swinging his legs, his gloved fingers of his hands interlocked.
    'Well that's fascinating. But tell me, I see you are not wearing a numbered badge. Why is that?
   The Butler remains silent, but with an expression of thought on his face.
   'Do you have a number?'
   The Butler bites his bottom lip.
   'You don't have a number!'
   The silence is deafening.
   'Well perhaps you might like to tell the readers why you are never heard to utter on single sylable.'
    The Butler opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again, and there comes a far away look in his eyes.
    'Well the fact that you are never heard to speak has given way to people thinking you cannot speak, claiming that you are in fact a mute. Perhaps you would like to dismiss that claim.'
    The Butler purses his lips, and rotates this way and that on his stool.
    'No, well you can speak can you not. Because in A B and C, you tell No.2 on the telephone that Number Six is there to see him. And in It's Your Funeral the retiring Number two told you that he didn't want to see anyone, and told you to tell Number Six to go away. Would you care to comment?'
    The Butler licks his lips and stares at the floor between his legs.
    'A new Number Two arrived in the Village, bringing with her Martha, her personal maid. How did you get on with Martha?'
    There comes a painful look on the Butlers face, but he says nothing.
    'Well that's extremely loyal of you, not to speak out against a former Number Two's maid. But it must have been a difficult time for you. I mean Martha moving into the Green Dome like that to look after her mistress, a bit on the severe side don't you think?'
    The Butler suddenly spits on the floor.
    'You are extremely privillaged to be able to live in the Green Dome.'
    The Butler shakes his head.
    'You don't live in the Green Dome?'
    Again a shake of the head.
    'So where do you live?'
    The Butler nods his head over his shoulder.
    'You live round the back.'
    The Butler nods.
    'You live in the small annex around the back of the Green Dome.'
    The Butler nods slowly.
    'But there was one time when you were given the sack by Number Two, told in fact to get out of the house. How did you feel about that?'
    The Butler winces.
    'There is no question of your loyalty. You do not speak out against any of your masters. Very commendable if I may say so.'
    The Butler shrugs his shoulders.
    'Well this has been absolutely riviting. I'm sure the readers will enjoy this fascinating interview with you. Let me ask you just one more question. Why do you wear your Village cape inside out?'
    The Butler sits quietly upon his stool, his little legs dangle, as he twiddles his thumbs.
    'Well perhaps a brightly colourful striped cape is a bit garish for a man in your position.'
   The Butler sits in silence.
    'Is there anything you would like to say before I go? Something to tell the readers. A statement perhaps...........................................................................No, it would appear not.
   The Butler jumps down from the stool and walks away.
    'Well thank you Number errr...its been a pleasure.

Reporter No.113