"I'm only going by what I've heard"
"Well you've heard wrong. This is my town, you should be careful what you go around saying!"
"I haven't said anything!"
"Good, you'll stay healthier that way. I see your not wearing a gun."
"Newspaper men don't need to wear a gun"
"They do in this town, don't you like living in Harmony?"
"Is that some kind of a threat Judge?"
"Hey, here come the boys. Get the boys a drink on me"
Four or five hardened gunslingers have entered the Silver Dollar Saloon and now stand at the bar waiting for whisky to be poured into glasses.
"So these err gentlemen are your boys?"
"And the homicidal maniac in the corner?"
"You mean the Kid. He's the fastest on the draw I've seen. But lets be friendly, have a drink"
"I buy my own drinks Judge"
"That's not being friendly"
"The red 2 on the black 3"
"What, oh thanks. Look why don't you come and work for me. Write nice things about me in that newspaper of yours."
"What nice things?"
"Of my charitable works for instance"
"What charitable works are these?"
"Well, like in the way I'm going to be charitable to you. The boys would like nothing better than to dust you down!"
The boys were leaning on the bar and staring straight at me!
"Or there's the Kid. If I told him what you and Cathy were doing down the alley way last night... he wouldn't like that. Fond of Cathy the Kid is, almost paranoid about her when he sees another man right up close to her and you were really up close to Cathy.... get what I mean?"
"Sorry Judge. I've suddenly remembered that I have a story to cover in
. If I'm quick I can just about catch the Dodge City noon Stage I should arrive in Dodge just in time to make the gun fight at the OK Corral!"
And believe me you couldn't see my trail for dust, no one in their right mind could live in Harmony!
Your own reporter