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Sunday 23 June 2013

60 Second Psychiatric Report On An Ex-No.2

    What follows is part of a transcript which was taken during a routine recording of conversations in No.2's office, the conversation between No.2 himself and the head of Psychiatrics department No.249.

    No.2: “You aren't preparing a report on my... mental health?”
    Psychiatrist No.249: “Of course not.”
    “And Number 6 didn't see you later on?”
    “Then why did he ring you?”
    “I told you I don't know.”
    “ You're a psychiatrist aren't you? Would you say Number 6 was mad?”
    “Not according to our records.”
    “Then he had a reason for telephoning you, didn't he? What was it?”
    “Why don't you ask him?”
    “Would you like to sit in this chair? bellows No.2 in a sudden pique of anger.”
     “I was merely suggesting....”
    “Don't tell me what to do. You can go.”
    “Thank you.”
    Well I bet by the time No.249 returned to his office in Psychiatrics he was preparing a report on No.2's mental health! Because as we know No.2 was a weak link in the chain of command, in fact he lost it on more than one occasion. And then came the final breakdown, as telephoning No.1 and reporting himself as a breakdown in control and that No.2 needed to be replaced.
   This particular No.2 is a sad case, for almost as soon as he had reported himself, the men in white coats came to take No.2 away to the funny farm. Well the psychiatric wing of the hospital to be exact, and that is where he has been ever since that day, yet there has been a sign of improvement in his mental health, although whenever the No.6 is mentioned he suddenly flies of in a sudden fit of rage......

   Ex-Number 2 “What are you doing here?
    Psychiatrist: “I've come to keep you company. I heard all your friends have deserted you. You couldn't trust anyone anymore.... pity. Odd isn't it? All that power at your disposal and yet you were alone. You did feel alone didn't you?”
    “What do you want?
    “To talk, to listen.
    “I've nothing to say.

    “That's not like the old Number 2. Where is the strong man, the hammer? You have to be hammer or anvil, you're words, remember?

    “I know who you are.”
    “Who am I?”
    “Sent here by our masters to spy on me.”
    “Sorry, I'm not quite with you.”
    “Oh yes, you can stop acting now you know. I was on to you from the beginning. I knew what you were doing.”
    “Tell me.”
    “All those messages you sent. And all the people you recruited. I knew you were a plant. You didn't fool me.”
    “Maybe you fooled yourself.”
    “What does that mean?”
    “Let us say for arguments sake that what you say is true, that there was a plant here in the Village...”
    “Sent by X o four.”
    “X o four?
    “Very well by X04. To check on village security, to check on you.”
    “He was.”
“Six, Number Six....... I'll break this conspiracy,  I'll break the lot of you!  You're in it as well.... oh yes. You don't know anything.... oh get out, get out. And I thought you were the one man I could trust, oh get out, get out!!!!”

   It was at this point that four white coated men brought the straight jacket, and the Ex-No.2 was placed back inside his padded cell for his own protection.

No.249 {Head of the psychiatrics department}

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