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Friday 17 November 2017

Village Life!

    “See that chap there?”
    “What about him?”
    “He’s not wearing the regular attire for The Village.”
    “Neither are we if it comes to that.”
    “Yes, but we don’t have to. We’re Top Hat officials of administration.”
    “Not Undertakers then?”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Well we have been mistaken for Undertakers before.”
    “Really, when was this?”
    “I was with Number Eighty-one, we were on special assignment in
London and were about to abduct a high ranking Civil Servant when this woman came up to us and asked for our card!”
    “Really, what did you do?”
    “Well we put the coffin we were carrying on the pavement, and I wrote down a false address and gave it to the woman. Her husband had recently died, and she was looking for an Undertaker.”
    “Extraordinary!”
    “Have you noticed anything about that chap?”
    “No.”
    “He stands out dressed like that.”
    “Nothing remarkable about that, so do we. But by tomorrow he’ll be dressed just like everybody else, and become a mere face in the crowd!”
   “That’s a bit deep for a Thursday.”
   “Is it Thursday?”
   “Yes.”  
    “I thought it was Wednesday.”
    “What difference does it make?”
    “If its Friday it makes us late for a meeting with the Works Committee meeting.”
    “Really, what’s on the agenda?”
    “Cleansing of cesspits, and the treatment of sewage. And all of a sudden its not such a picturesque village!”
    “It’s about time The Village was on a main sewer.”
    “I know that. I’ve been telling the Committee until I’m blue in the face, but will the Chairman listen?”
    “It was just the same when I went to a meeting of the agricultural Committee. Do you know I’ve never known anyone get so stirred up about potatoes before.”
    “What was the problem?”
    “Farmer Twenty three-seven’s Bedford Gems had got blight!”
    “And his chickens had stopped laying!”
    “Who told you that?”
    “Farmer Twenty three-seven’s wife, One one-nine.”
    “It’s nothing but problems these days. I know let’s go and have a cup of tea.”
   “We’ll miss the meeting works Committee meeting about the drains.”
   “Well let the works Committee create its own stench!”
   “I thought that was the cesspit!”
   “We might have a teacake as well.”
   “Toasted?”
   “Of course, and it’s your turn to pay remember.........”


Be seeing you

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