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Saturday 17 March 2012

The Prisoner's Question Time

    No.12 "I was expecting a woman!"
    No.2 "Oh really. Well you're not exactly what I was expecting either Number Twelve."
    "What do you mean by that?"
    "Well look at you. Who do you think you've come as?"
    "I'm Number Six."
    "Have you taken a look in the mirror recently?"
    "Look, I seem to have metamorphosised!"
    "Oh really! Oh I see. You mean you've grown a moustache."
    "You trying to be funny?"
    "Look, I don't know who you are. But impersonating Number Six is a danger to the Village. I don't know what you expect to get out of it........Just a minute, you could impersonate Number Six."
   "But I am your Number Six."
   "You see, you're brilliant at it, you've started already."
   "Look what's the game?"
   "We want to know why Number Six resigned. I can't use the usual methods, he's much to valuable apparently."
    "Well I can tell you why I resigned."
   "I resigned because....."
   "You're not very good at this are you?"
   "What do you mean?"  
   "Number Six would never give in that easily. We have to work on him, grind him down, break him if necessary. Look, we'll shave off that mostache for you, dye your hair, give you a nice cream blazer......."
    "Cream, why cream?"
    "Well I hadn't thought about it really, but if you wear a cream blazer I'll be able to tell you both apart."
    "Wouldn't it be more effective if I wear the same blazer as Number Six?"
   "Oh that wouldn't do at all."
   "Why not?"
   "Well I might forget who you are."
   "I know who I am, you know who I am."
   "Yes standing here, yes. But if you're dressed identically and put in the same room with Number Six, well you might get all mixed up, and we wouldn't know who was who, would we?"
   "No, no I suppose.........Look wouldn't it be far simpler if I told you why I resigned?"
   "I didn't know you had. What was it stress? Blown cover? No, don't tell me, you got sick and tired of your job so you packed it all in. What did Susan have to say about that?"
   "She wasn't very pleased. Said she didn't want me at home all day getting under her feet!"
   "Well that's understandable. I tell you what, I could have Susan brought here if you like."
   "Oh I couldn't expect you to go that far. After all I won't be here that long."
   "About six weeks I should think."
   "After which time I'll be going home."
   {Number Two stands and stares, then smiles}
   "What's up, what's the matter?"
   "We can't let you do that old boy."
   "Try and see our side of the affair. How can we let a man looking like you, leave the Village, especially after you've been here?.........Just a minute. We could let you go."
    "Ah now you're seeing sense."
   "Yes, we could let you leave to Village, return to London, and you could make things up with your fiancee!"
   "Janet Portland. You could return to London and carry on your impersonation there!"
   "And Susan?"
   "Susan died a year ago Number Six.............Oh damn!"
    {Suddenly the red telephone begins to bleep somewhat impatiently}


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