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Saturday 8 December 2018

Village Life!

    Headmaster "Why did you resign?”
    Pupil “Beg pardon sir!”
    “You've no need to beg my pardon boy.”
    “Righto sir.”
    “Look boy, when I ask you a question, I expect an answer. Why did you resign?”
    “Well sir..........”
    “.........I thought I had become too old for the Tufty Club!”
    “I'm still a member of the Corgi Club.”
    “The Corgi Club?!!
    “Yes sir, diecast model cars. Myself and other boys in my class collect them, in fact a latest edition to my collection is a Morris Eight.”
    “Look boy............. look boy what you do in your own time is your own affair.”
    “Thank you sir, but would you mind taking your paws off my blazer?”
    “Look boy, if I have any more trouble with you I'll give you.............
    “You can't do that any more.”
    “Can't do what?”
    “Beat me. It's against the corporal punishment laws.”
    “What are you, the classroom lawyer?”
    “I know my rights sir.”
    “The last time you were given six of the best, you said to give you twelve so that you could remember.”
    “That's right sir.”
    “So you remember?”
    “Yes sir.”
    “So tell me boy why you resigned, and you will be spared the pain.”
    “Is the Butler going to deliver the punishment again?”
    “I'd prefer the French Mistress sir.”
    “All the boys know what the French Mistress wears under that cap and gown sir.”
   “You've no business knowing!! Just a minute, we don't have a French Mistress!!”
    “You should get one sir!”
    “You are an impertinent boy!”
    “If you say so sir.”
    “I do say so…………… You will take one hundred lines.”
    “Yes sir, thank you sir.”
    “You will write out one hundred times why you resigned.”
    “From what sir? I've already explained about the Tufty Club.”
    “Take pen, paper and write boy.”
     The pupil begins to write I resigned because for a very long time I've thought myself too old for the Tufty Club.
    I resigned because I'm fed up with school.
    I resigned because my Headmaster is a bully!
    I resigned because I was found behind the penny farthing shed with the French Mistress xxx
    I resigned because for a very long time....just a minute it's break time!
    I resigned for peace, for peace of mind, because too many people know too much. I know too much about you, don't I Headmaster……..
    “Thank you sir.”
    “But before you go boy......tell me, why did you resign?”
    “You've been told sir!”

Be seeing you

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