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Saturday 4 August 2018

Village Life!

    “What do you think?”
    “He seems alright.”
    “But can we be sure?”
    “How can we be sure?”
    “Ask him.”
    “Should we?”
    “If we don’t we’ll never know!”
    “Sir, do you play chess sir?”
    “I’m more of a draughtsman.”
    “I didn’t ask you if you can draw. I asked if you can play chess!”
    “Well you’re no good to us then!”
    “But we’re a chess piece down, who is going to play the white Queen’s pawn?”
    “There isn’t anyone!”
    “Well that messes up our game somewhat. Come and be the white Queen’s pawn.”
    “But I don’t play!”
    “It’s alright, he’ll tell you what to do.”
    “The fool can’t play chess!”
    “It’s alright, just give him one simple move to make, then he can just stand there talking to me.”
    “Well if you think so.”
    “We’ve no other choice. It’s him or the game doesn’t go ahead.”
    “Come and join us, come and be the white Queen’s pawn.”
    “Fine thank you very much.”
    “Pawn to King four.”
    “Pawn to King four.”
    “I mean who was he?”
   “Knight to Queen’s Bishop three.”
    “It’s difficult to say, I’ve heard rumours.”
    “Such as?”
    “He’s an ex-Count.”
    “Knight to Knight’s Bishop three.”
    “That’s a funny move.”
    “How do you mean?”
    “The move’s right, but it places the emphasis on the Knight, it should be King’s Bishop.”
    “Pawn to Queen four.”
    “It’s your move.”
    “Pawn to Queen four, to Queen four, pawn to Queen four.”
    “Go on, move forward two squares.......I mean how difficult can it be?”
    “Do you “huff” in this game?”
    “Huff what’s that?”
    “Go on give him a poke with your chess pole!”
    “Huffing is when, in the English game of draughts, your opponent fails to make a capturing move for one of your pieces, he or she is then penalized by the removal of her own piece or huff from the board.”
    “That’s not chess is it?”
    “Well it certainly isn’t cricket!”
    “Just go two squares forwards, you’re safe protected by me.”
    “I don’t know what game we’re playing here, but I know a better one.”
    “Yes what’s that?”
    “I’m all for a cross country run!”

Be seeing you

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