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Saturday, 27 May 2017

Village Life!




   No.113c “Read all about it get your anniversary edition now!”
   No.6 “Anniversary edition?”
   “Yes.”
   “What anniversary?”
   “The fiftieth anniversary of The Tally Ho, it’s been going for fifty years now.”
   “Really!”
    “And it’s reached its fiftieth edition, in fact you might say it’s two times fifty!”
    “That doesn’t seem many does it?!”
    “What do you mean by that?”
    “Well The Tally Ho is issued daily at
noon, seven days a week for fifty years, work it out for yourself!”
    “Look do you want a copy of this anniversary edition or not?”
    “No!”
    “Well clear off and make way for those people who do. Read all about it, get your anniversary edition now.”
    No.38 “What anniversary young man?”
    “The fiftieth anniversary of The Tally Ho, it’s been going for fifty years now, and it’s reached its fiftieth edition.”
    “Is that all?”
    “What do you mean by that?”
    “Well I’ve lived in The Village for fifty years……….”
    “You must have the very first issue then.”
    “Oh no, I always use the paper to light the fire in the mornings!”
    No.15 “What’s going on here?”

    No.38 “He’s selling anniversary editions of The Tally Ho.”
    “Oh is that all. Today’s Tally Ho is tomorrow’s fish and chip paper!”
    No.113c “Look…….do any of you people want to buy copies of this edition?”
    Voice from the back of the crowd “What did he say?”
    A citizen “He said today’s Tally Ho is tomorrow’s fish and chip paper!”
    “I cut mine up into squares and hang them on a nail in the privy. Trouble is the ink rubs off.”
    “You should use the blank side instead.”
    “Oh I do, but the ink still rubs off on my hand!”
    No.113c “Look….do any of you people want to by a copy of The Tally Ho?”
    {Suddenly the sound of a high pitched siren and two burly looking Guardians arrive on the scene}
    1st Guardian “Here, here now, what’s going on…..come on now make way there.”
    A citizen “We’re queuing up to buy copies of The Tally Ho.”
    Another citizen “It’s the fiftieth anniversary issue!”
    2nd Guardian “Never mind all that, you people are blocking the right of way!”
    “And what are you up to?”
    “Trying to sell copies of The Tally Ho if it’s anything to do with you, but no-one’s buying them.”
    “I’m not surprised it’s full of fake news! Now get this contraption shifted, you’re causing an obstruction”
    No.31 “Fake news…… is there such a thing?”
    No.179 “Yes, they make it up as they go along!”
    “I didn’t know that. Let’s go have a cup of tea at the café, and don’t forget, it’s your turn to pay.

Be seeing you

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