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Tuesday 19 June 2018

Village Life!

    “What’s on the agenda for today?”
    “Didn’t you read the memo?”
    “I never read those.”
    “We’re discussing the plans for the new Concert Hall.”
    “What’s wrong with the old one?”
    “The roof leaks I believe, and the toilet facilities are totally inadequate!”
    “What do they think we have the Recreation Hall for?”
    “A Recreation Hall is not a Concert hall.”
    “A folk music concert was once held there I believe.”
    “You did not attend?”
    “I do not like folk music.”
    “You’re more a Vivaldi man I suppose.”
    “Not at all, Gilbert and Sullivan actually!”
    “So you’re a Gilbert and Sullivan as well are you?”
    “Taking one consideration with another, a policeman’s lot is not a happy one”
    “Happy one!”
    “What about the Palace of fun?”
    “I don’t recall that in Gilbert and Sullivan.”
    “No, no, here in The Village.”
    “The Palace of in The Village.”
    “It’s on the map of The Village.”
    “Yes, I know it is, everyone knows.”
    “What do you mean so?”
    “Well everyone knows it’s on the map of The Village, but no-one remembers having actually ever seen it!”
    “Well perhaps it was demolished to make way for the Recreation Hall.”
    “It’s in the wrong place!”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Look, according to the map..........”
    “You have a black and white map of The Village.”
    “It’s alright for you, but I cannot afford a colour map!”
    “Yes, well the Recreation Hall isn’t marked on the map either!”
    “Nor is the hospital, but that exists. According to the map, the Palace of fun should be over there on the left passed the Town Hall, almost opposite the stagecoach.”
    “Stagecoach, there is no stagecoach indicated on the map.”
    “No, but the
Palace of Fun is.”
    “So what are you going to do about it?”
    “I’m going to ask Number Two about it.”
    “I shouldn’t.”
    “Why not?”
    “Have you heard of the Silver Dollar Saloon?”
    “Well the
Palace of Fun was worse than that, gambling, drinking, and a disorderly house into the bargain!”
    “Yes. Number Two was a frequent visitor.”
    “Our Number Two?”
    “Oh no, a predecessor. He saw to it that the Cat and Mouse nightclub was set up. No alcohol, and no ladies of the night!”
    “Damned spoilsport!”
    “He was a teetotaller, and he didn’t like women!”
    “Each to their own.”
    “I say, what have you in that leather document case you always carry with you?”
    “A filled hipflask and a copy of Playboy!”
    “Where did you get those?”
    “I know the helicopter pilot!”

Be seeing you

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