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Saturday 16 February 2019

Tell Me Now Who Am I?

     You know who you are, I know who you are, and those who are watching know who you are.
    Those who are watching?
    Yes.
    Who are they?
    The television viewers.
    Oh, we’re on television are we?
    Naturally.
    They know who I am?
    Yes, you’re Number 12.
    Number 12, yes, Number 12. But it’s not right is it?
    Isn’t it, why isn’t it?
    I’m wearing the right jacket.
    The right jacket?
    I always wear a dark jacket with off-white piping. I know that sometimes it has broken piping on the lapel, and sometimes joined piping, but the colour is always the same. But I have never been seen out and about in The Village wearing a cream coloured jacket!
    Perhaps I fancied a change!
    You fancied a change?
    Yes, well I am Number Six.
    You claim to be Number Six.
    No, it’s you who is doing the claiming!
    Listen, you might be the one with the mole on your left wrist....
    What’s that got to do with anything?
    But it’s not you with the bruised fingernail!
    Bruised fingernail?
    Aha! You didn’t think of that one did you?
    I think I’d better call Number Two.
    Yes, I want a word with him myself!

    Suddenly a vicious fight breaks out between the two Six’s, one rushes outside the cottage only to be met by The Village Guardian.

    The blessed Schizoid Man.
    Schizoid man, schizoid man, schizoid man, schizoid man, schizoid........ahhhhgggggggg!
    Get me Number Two.................Curtis here, Number Six is dead.......yes, Rover got him.........yes there’s going to be hell to pay!
    Number 12 returns to his cottage and packs his suitcase ready to leave The Village. Standing beside the helicopter Number 12 and Number 2 part company with a handshake.
   
Its just a quick flip to the landing stage, you can pick up the motor cruiser from there. You’ve forgotten security precautions.
    Oh yes of course.
    Must be obeyed.

    Once inside the helicopter Number 12 puts the blindfold on. Number 2 closes the door and the helicopter rakes off, circles the Village a couple of time before landing. The door of the helicopter is opened, Number 12 is helped out and the blindfold is removed, and is faced with the figure of Number 2.

   
How did you know?
    Number Six has a bruised fingernail!


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