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Thursday, 24 March 2016

60 Second Interview With No.100

    No.113 “Does it take a great deal of courage to wear a pink blazer?”
    No.100 “I beg your pardon?”
    “Granted I’m sure.”
    “Who are you, and how did you get in here?”
    “Through the doors. I am Number One hundred and thirteen, and this is my photographic colleague Number One hundred and thirteen b. We contribute to The Tally Ho.”
    No.113b “Smile” {click goes the camera}
    “Yes I’ve read some of the rubbish you write.”
    “Oh don’t be like that, we’ve all got our jobs to do.”
    “Well what do you want here? Number 2 will be back in a moment.”
    “Have you anything to say about the rumours which are circulating at the moment?”
    “What rumours might they be?”
    “That someone has it in for Number Two.”
    “Are you jamming?”
    “Jamming? Oh no, I’ve never been the musical type.”
    “No I mean, oh never mind. You’ve not been speaking to Number Six have you?”
    “Why, is he worth talking to?”
    “Look I should go if I were you.”
    “Number Two’s right-hand man are you?”
    “We share a common goal.”
    “What goal might that be?”
    “Look I haven’t time to bandy words with the likes of you.”
    “Why what are you doing?”
    “I’m waiting for Number Two. And if he finds you here, there’s no telling what he’ll do.”
    “What, the most irritating man in The Village!”
    “What do you mean by that?”
    “The way he keeps taking off and putting on his spectacles. And the faces he pulls when he’s on the telephone. He acts just like one of Number One’s puppets!”
    “Just get out before I throw the pair of you out!”
    “Don’t be like that. Just one more thing before we go.”
    “Yes what is it?”
    “Have you ever been suffocated by the Guardian?”
    “No, why do you ask?”
    “Nothing, but I could have sworn…….perhaps I’m having a premonition.”
    “Well go and have it somewhere else!”
    “Smile” {click goes the camera}
    “Come on One-one-three, we’ll go and speak to the
Butler.”
    “You won’t get anything out of him!”
    “Yeah, but we might get a cup of tea and a digestive biscuit!”


Reporter Number 113
Photographer Number 113b

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