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Saturday 10 December 2011

A Case of Attempted Murder by our own reporter

    I suppose the question has to be asked - was Doris, the Barmaid of The Mops & Broom public house, an accomplice in the poisoning of John Drake? When I paid a visit to Drake's local, Doris seemed a friendly and most amiable hostess, however I find I do have to question her taste of dress!
    When it comes to the message YOU HAVE JUST BEEN POISONED, either etched, or that of a sticker, there was really only one person who could have done that, Doris for she was the only person behind the bar at that time. Oh yes the girl who was death put Doris up to it, possibly money exchanged hands. So why?
   Yet there is another question which must also be asked, was John Drake actually poisoned?   After all Drake only had the message, which revealed itself as he drank his pint of mild beer,
   POISONED   and this is all the evidence there is for a case of poisoning. Which means if that is the case, then John Drake need not have put himself through that cocktail of drinks.
   Mind you, having said this, Drake could take no chances, he had been given a warning, and so quickly downed that cocktail of Brandy, Whisky, Vodka, Drambuie, Tia Maria, Cointreau, and Grand Marnier, "Sir" Doris told him "You'll make yourself sick!" and so he was, in the gents!
   But as I suspect, that if John Drake had not been poisoned, then all we are dealing with is a prank and nothing more. So it could be, that the girl who was death had approached Doris, told her of the jolly jape which she wished to play on her friend, who would be calling in for a drink in a very few minutes. Then perhaps after the exchange of monies, and a specially prepared glass, by the girl who was death, Doris agreed to be part of the jolly jape to be played upon an unsuspecting John Drake, who only imagined that he had been poisoned after reading that message at the bottom of his beer glass. No poison was ever involved, but in the end the result was the same  -John Drake being sick in the gents and feeling bloody awful afterwards with an upset tummy!

    {I know that Mr X may not very well be John Drake, but I had to use a name, The Prisoner didn't fit well at all, neither did Mister X.}
Our own reporter

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