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Thursday 17 December 2015

Caught On Camera!

    No.2 “Who are you, and what are you doing here?”
    “We’re Pathe News.”
    “Pathe News, who gave you authority to film here?”
   “The Supervisor.”
    “The Supervisor, what you mean him?”
    “No, the other one, you know the bald-headed chap.”
    “Well he’s not the Supervisor, not now he isn’t”
    “He told us he was.”
    “Well what are you doing here?”
    “We’re making a film about concentration camps, and Gulags.”
    “Does the Village look like a concentration camp or Gulag?”
    “Well not typically, no.”
    “Well there you are then.”
    “But then again it is basically an internment camp!”
    “I’m not here to bandy words with the likes of you. What brought you here?”
    “The helicopter.”
    “Well you can just pack up your equipment and get out of here. In fact you can get out of The Village by the helicopter that brought you here.”
    “Look we were told we could come and film here.”
    “Who was it, who told you, you could come and film here?”
    “Number One.”
    “Did he………..well try not to be intrusive.”
    “Intrusive, have you seen the size of this camera?”
    “You can hardly miss it!”
    “Well seeing as you’re here keep that camera on my best side.”
    “Okay guv. How was that for you Sid?”
    “Sound levels are spot on.”
    “No go I’m afraid, hair in the gate!”
    “Oh damn it! We’ll have to go again!”
    No.2 “This is your fault!”
    Supervisor-No.60 “My fault? I like that. I didn’t want this job you know. Anyway it was my predecessor who let them in, he’s the one to blame!”
    “Well get them out of here as soon as you can. What’s that Number 6 doing?”
    “He’s on camera heading through the mangrove walk. He could be heading for the hills or the shore. Apparently the second unit wants to film him trying to escape.”
    “He wants what?”
    Cameraman “Well someone’s got to try and escape. All we’ve done so far is film Number Six putting a white envelope in that stone boat thing, and putting a Cuckoo clock by your front door!”
    Supervisor “Well we have him on the screen heliographing!”
    Number 2 “Get that message down, get it down.”
    “This is more like it Sid, okay to film?”
    “Yes turn over, action.!
    Number 2 turning to an observer “Did you get that message down?”
    Observer “Yes sir.”
    “Well what did it say?”
    “Hello Colonel, having a hell of a time. Wish you were here!”

Be seeing you

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