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Thursday 12 November 2015

60 Second Interview With An Interim No.2

    No.113 “I realise you are a busy man Number Two. Well that’s not quite right I know.”
    Interim No.2 “What’s not quite right?
    “Well you’re not are you?”
    “I’m not what?”
    “You’re just an interim Number Two, filling in while Number Two is away on leave.”
    “I resent that.”
    No.113b “Smile” {click goes the camera}
    “Whose he?”
    “He’s my photographic colleague Number On, one, three b, and I am Number One, one, three we contribute to The Tally Ho.”
    “Oh it’s you two again. What do you want this time?”
    “Why do you do it?”
    “Do what?”
    “Pull faces when you’re on the phone speaking to Number One?”
   “I didn’t realise I did.”
    “A doctor might put that down to a deep psychological problem.”
    “Look you come in here insulting me, I’ve a good mind…..”
    “No, you’re not every good are you. Do you know how many interim Number Two’s there have been before you came along?”
    “Well obviously they were not up to the mark.”
    “And you, what are you?”
    “Smile” {click goes the camera}
    “I’m going to be the new Number Two.”
    “You won’t last long, Number Six will see to that. You know what you are, don’t you.”
    “According to you I’m not every good.”
    “I’ve got you down as the most irritating man in The Village. One of your predecessors had Number 6 down as an irritating man, but in my book, it’s you!”
    {The interim Number 2 removes his spectacles}
   “There you are, you’re doing in now.”
    {The interim Number 2 puts his spectacles back on}
    “You’re always doing it.”
    “Always taking off and putting on your spectacles, do you know how irritating that is?”
    “Not as irritating as you have become. Supervisor get these men out of the Control Room, and get some discipline into them.”
    Supervisor “Yes sir, right away sir.”
    “And while you’re about it, get me International Rescue on the phone!”
    “Yes Alan!”

Reporter Number 113
Photographer Number 113b 

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