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Thursday, 4 February 2016

60 Second Interview With No.14


    No.113 “Number Fourteen isn’t it?”
    “You know damn well that it is, can’t you read the number on my badge?”
   “I am Number…………………”
    “One one-three.”
    “How did you know………my badge, of course.”
    “Well what do you want?”
    Number 113 “We contribute to The Tally Ho.”
   “What’s that to do with me?”
    Number 113b “Smile” {click goes the camera}
    “Does he have to do that?”
    “What’s your opinion on Number Two?”
    “I don’t have an opinion, I simply follow orders. But it is mine that if we throw Number Six out of The Village it will be an altogether better place!”
    “Can we quote you on that? And what did you mean about enjoying giving Number Six a dusting down? Going to fetch a dustpan and brush were we?”
   “Well Number Six needs to be brought down a peg or two!”
   “And what, you’re the man to do it? Better men than you have tried.”
    “Smile” {click goes the camera}
    “Look I haven’t got time for this…….”
    “Number Six is a jammer, he’s jamming.”
    “What’s he doing?”
    “He’s laying false plots, playing on Number Two’s paranoia.”
    “Only you can stop him.”
    “You think so?”
    “No not really, but who else is there?”
    “I’ll go and see him now, I’ll sort that Number Six…….”
    “No, no, no, its Number Two who wants sorting out. Number Twenty-six is out of a job. He’s at the Labour Exchange seeking fresh employment. But what price a sacked Supervisor, when all they can offer him is work on the dustcart! And then there’s the
Butler, he was ordered out of the Green Dome. Who else but Number Two will want to hire a Butler? What’s more he’s homeless!”
    “He should go to the Citizens Advice Bureau.”
    “He did. They told him he wasn’t eligible for re-housing. The Tally Ho is taking up his case.”
    “And Number Two?”
    “We’ll leave him to Number Six.”
    “And Number Six?”
    “Well you were hankering to give him a good dusting down. How did the Kosho go by the way?”
    “Get out of my way, I’ll give him Kosho!”
    “Yeah, well perhaps next time you should try taking him on at tiddily-winks!”
    “I’ll be using Ogami next time!”
    “What you’re going to roll up a copy of The Tally Ho and beat him with it!”
    {With that Number 14 swept passed us shouting “Banzai.” We had no idea he was interested in cultivating miniature trees!}


Reporter Number 113
Photographer Number 113b

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