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Saturday 6 February 2016

Village Life!

    Gardener “What do you want?”
    Number 6 “Well I did want a word with you.”
    “You want to stop swanning around poking your nose in where it’s not wanted, that’s what you want to do.”
    “Do I?”
    “You want to start settling down, get yourself a job, that’s what you want to do.”
    “Are there any vacancies?”
    “On the bins, working on the dustcart, cleaning up the rubbish. You want to get yourself off to the Labour Exchange, they’ll fix you up.”

    “Number 53 “So what are you going to do?”
    “Well I’m not going to the Labour Exchange I can tell you that. Number Two said I might be given a position of authority.”
    “Did he?”
    “Oh well it’s not so bad, it’s a better job than they gave me.”
    “What job did they give you?”
    “The local Cesspit cleaner!”
    “I bet you fell in and came out smelling of roses.”
    “Not exactly, no!”

    Number 42 “Aren’t you Sid the local cesspit cleaner”
    “He used to be, he resigned.”
    “Well I could do with a painter’s mate.”
    Number 6 “And what does a painter’s mate do?”
    “He makes the tea.”
    “I think we’re a bit too over qualified for the position.”
    “You want to be careful, they’ll take away your benefits!”
    “We haven’t got any benefits.”
    “Well they can always give you some and then take then away!”

    “Haven’t you finished painting this wall yet?”
    “Some officious twit came along and said it wasn’t satisfactory.”
    “Well here I am painting it again! I did tell you I needed a painter’s mate.”
    “Well just get it right this time. Otherwise you’ll find yourself painting it again!”
   “Alright there’s no need to be like that. I’m doing my best.”
   “Obviously your best isn’t good enough!”
   {Number 6 walks away}
   “The trouble with this place is, there’s too many Chiefs and not enough Indians!” 42 muttered to himself.

Be seeing you

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