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Tuesday, 24 May 2016

60 Second Interview With A Gardener

    “We’d like a word with you.”
    “Then you’ll have to wait. I’ve no time to bandy word with the likes of you!”
    “Do you know who we are?”
    “No, who are you?”
    “I am Number One-one-three, and this is my photographic colleague Number One-one-three-b. We contribute to The Tally Ho.”
   “Smile.” {click goes the camera}
   “Oh, it’s for the gardening section is it?”
   “Gardening section?”
   “The reason you want to interview me.”
   “There is no garden section in The Tally Ho.”
   “Then why are you trying to talk to me under false pretences? You’re not interested in gardening!”
    “We never said we were. We’re just looking to a have a word with you.”
    “Well I haven’t got all day, even if you have. I’ve this border to sort out, and then there’s the lawn to cut, bedding plants to plant, and the roses need dead-heading. Its all go being a gardener you know. Not like so called journalists who sit about typing up a few words for a broadsheet. You want the editor to get a garden section put into The Tally Ho, or better still, a glossy insert about gardening. I could write an interesting article about lawn mower maintenance. Or about roses, and when it’s the best time to prune them, and how to deal with green fly. Snails and slugs can be a problem, there are several different way to deal with them. And then there’s compost, I could give a lecture on how to go about making the best compost…….”
    “Well it’s actually that bald-headed gardener we wanted to talk to you about. We don’t know his number, but perhaps you know him?”
    “Yes I know him, he gave up being a gardener, and went to be an electrician.”
    “So you both still have a great deal in common.”
    “How do you make that out?”

    “You both work with bulbs!”
    “Are you trying to be funny?
   “Apparently not!”

Reporter No.113
Photographer No.113b

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