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Friday, 12 July 2013

M9 0n-Line Recruitment


    MI5 with its revelation that its website gets twice as many 'hits' after every episode of Spooks the BBC drama about spies and the fight against terrorism. So where does that leave M9? Well certainly not left out in the cold, but of course M9 should be MI9, as part of the whole range of Military Intelligence departments from MI1 through to MI5, MI6, MIX, MIY etc. Once 'Top Secret' MI5 now openly advertises for people to sign up and join their department, so why not M9? Well this spy stuff isn't all cloak and dagger you know, flying around the world at the drop of a hat, and arriving in Slavosk within 24 hours!
    Most days its dull, dull work either following suspects for days on end, often weeks on end without ever being told why. Oh sorry, that's Special Branch who don't ever get told anything! Either that or spending endless hours within the depths of the filing department, spending precious hours looking for a file which was either under your nose all the time and couldn't see it, or someone has booked the file out and not yet returned it, or not booked it out again and not returned it! But some of the time is spent sat at your desk writing out endless reports on the suspect you have followed, that or trying to work out ways of fiddling your expense account!
    Dull, dull work, its not all 007 James Bond type stuff, and we don't get half the women he does, nor get to go to exotic places, and as for wardrobe? Well most of us have a grey suit, white shirt, some kind of non-descript tie and suede shoes, oh yes and generally a grey trench coat or grubby Macintoshes, you just ask that Harry Palmer or Callan for that matter. As for Hunslett of When Eight Bells Toll danger for him lies behind every filing cabinet! Not for Calvert though, danger lies at 14 fathoms!
    Still fancy a job in M9? Think you can be like John Drake and handle the danger? Well why not cold drop us a message beneath the frozen peas in any Iceland store. Oh and should you be challenged by a member of staff using the phrase “Those are potato wedges” respond "But the chips are crinkled."

Gorton {head of M9}

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