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Friday 30 May 2014

60 Second Interview With Mrs. Butterworth

    No.113: “What's the number of that car?”
    Mrs. Butterworth: “Terribly interesting.”
    “Kar one hundred and twenty C!... What's the engine number?”
    “Do tell.”
    “Four six one o three four tee zed.”
    “But it's not your car is it?”
    “Well it's not yours either if it comes to that!”
    “Eh? Well yes, but that's not the point.”
    “What is the point, do tell me.”
    “The point is, that car is not yours, and neither do you live here.”
    “Of course I live here, and what's more I have the signed lease to prove it.”
    “And the log book of the car?”
    “What of the previous owner, and occupant of this house?”
    “I don't know. I have the house fully furnished, and the car came with the house..... And I've always had a taste for a little speed.”
    “So since when did cars come with houses? And for that matter since when did estate agents become car salesmen?”
    “You'll have to take that up with them.”
    “And they are?”
    “Stumbell and Croydon. Mr.Croydon, a charming man who dealt with me personally.”
    “Stumbell and Croydon you say........” {makes a notation in note book}
    “Look I’m Mrs Butterworth, but you haven't said who you are.”
    “I'm Number one one three, and this is my photographic colleague Number one one three b.”
    No.113b: “Smile” {Click goes the camera}
    “Well what do you want?”
    No.13 b “Tea would be nice, with some of those nice cucumber sandwiches cut into tiny triangles, with their crusts cut off. Oh and some of that delicious fruit cake of yours!”
    “You’ve got a nerve! Get off my door step before I call the police!”
    “We're going Mrs. Butterworth, but don't be at all surprised if we meet again.... in The Village. Perhaps there you'll be a little more amenable, and give The Tally Ho another 60 second interview. Be seeing you.”

Reporter No.113
Photographer No.113b

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