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Sunday, 5 February 2012

The Professor's Lecture

  "My lecture today ladies and gentlemen concerns the question of education. Speedlearn is quite simply the most important, the most far reaching, most beneficient development in mass education since the beginning of time. A marriage of science and mass communication which results in the abolition of years of tedious and wasteful schooling. A three year course indelibly impressed on the mind in three minutes. Impossible? that's what I said until I was introduced to the General. And then I realised that not was it possible, but that education was ready for a giant leap forward from the dark ages into the twentieth and and twenty-first centuries. Ladies and gentlemen. I have been a teacher for thirty years. Seedlearn has made me as obsolete as the Dodo!  Well perhaps not quite, because I do still have to write each of the lectures, to actually programme the General, in fact I'm working more now than I ever did as a teacher!
   But lets take this one step further. What does Speedlearn actiually mean? Well it's good for the government, no need for actual schools, colleges, or universities. Although there would be an initial steep curve in high unemployment, as teachers, lecturers, admin and support staff, are all made redundant! All that would be required is someone like me to write the lectures, which would be transmitted by the General to students via their computer, lap-tops, television screens, or via their mobile phones. After the initial set up the government would save billions of pounds. Speedlearn could go viral, global, and we'd all be spouting the same answers to the same questions word for word!
   No ladies and gentlemen, Speedlearn is an abomination, the General.......no stop it, the General........no, I don't want to lie down, the General must, who needs therapy? Remember this, and remember this well, no get off, leave me alone, the General must be destroyed!........"

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