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Tuesday 12 May 2015

Village Recall For No.2! by our own reporter

   April 17th to the 19th saw No. 2 returned to The Village for a second term of office.  The three days themselves tell us that he lasted exceedingly better this time than the first time he appeared in The Village some forty-eight years ago. Then he was an interim No. 2, filling in while No. 2 was away on leave, before he was finally appointed as a permanent 2 during the Appreciation Day ceremony.
  Readers will recall how Number 6 was once elected by The Village citizens as a new No.  2, and how his term of office lasted only four minutes and thirty-four seconds! Perhaps if he hadn’t tried to force his will upon the people he might have lasted a bit longer. But then again no-one was listening to him, so it didn’t really matter anyway! As for the next new No. 2, unfortunately we do not know how long her term of office lasted, as we are not privy to this information. Although if we were to imagine that her term of office terminated at the end of ’Free For All,’ it lasted only slightly longer than that of her predecessor, by some two seconds in fact! Of course other No. 2’s have enjoyed longer terms of office in The Village, with varying degrees of success. Either that, or it ended up a complete and utter disaster!
    As an interim No. 2 his brief was to oversee the success of “Plan Division Q,” the execution of the retiring No. 2, but to stage the execution to look like an assassination carried out by No. 51 the watchmaker, who had been indoctrinated, or as we would say today “groomed” for the task by No. 100. Of course the plan had to involve No.6 in order to give the matter credibility without which the plan might backfire. In other words No.6 is the only person in The Village the retiring No.2 would believe when told that there is going to be an assassination attempt on his life. Well the plan did backfire, because as you the reader knows, no such plan involving No.6 ever succeeded! And due to the failure of “Plan Division Q,” this No.2 saw the shortest term in office in Village history, a grand total of three minutes and thirty-seven seconds! If timed from the moment the Great Seal of Office was placed about his head and shoulders, to the moment he turned his eyes to the sky to see the helicopter turn back to The Village. This could have been because the recently retired No.2 was about to be brought out of retirement in order to take up his former office once more.
    So why after forty-eight years is this No.2 being restored to his former position? Well for an extended weekend earlier this month, The Village was re-initiated. The reason for this was because there were a number of individuals who were just begging to be incarcerated in The Village. And a No.2 was required to supervise over them. However one aspect of Village life was not up to quite its previous specifications. Because the citizens had to physically lay the white squares of the chessboard themselves. Instead of the chessboard simply appearing, as though by magic as it did in ‘Checkmate!’
  However this particular No.2 isn’t the first to be brought back to The Village after so long a time. Mind you this was actually his first time in The Village, as previously he never actually made it as far as The Village itself! However he was not the only No.2 to do that. And there have been other No.2’s returned to The Village after a number of years, decades even, before him.
   However this No.2 proved as inept as ever he was before! And the question must be asked why he  was trusted with the weekend assignment. Because by the end of the Monday The Village was virtually deserted! A group of malcontents managed to break out of The Village, what’s more they took this No.2 with them!
   Although second chances in The Village are rare, it cannot be foreseen that this No.2 will ever be given a third chance!

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